Help a brotha out..

[Biffdoggie]

So my girl is coming into town today to live with me and so are her two children (6 and 10). I have known her since I was 10 and the children since they were born. I am no longer growing in the house so that won't be an issue but I am looking for any advice on going from having zero kids and two dogs to having two kids and two dogs. Anything you think might be helpful, toss it at me!

 

[SmokinMom]

Just be careful when ya smoke. Go out to the garage like me. lol
Come inside and wash your hands real good and brush those teeth. Maybe a splash of cologne or something. Kids that age are smart. You don't wanna be figured out. My fav. times to smoke are M-F in the morning once my big kids are in school.

Have fun, and best of luck.

 

[Biffdoggie]

These kids grew up in a "different" environment where smoking is pretty much the norm. They are well aware of it allready but low profile is still a good bet. It's more the day to day things that are concerning me, the fear that they are just going to drive me up the F'in wall or something, I think it will be allright though.

 

[SmokinMom]

Have a good-sized TV with a game system in a back room for the kids. If they are anything like mine then they like being able to get away from the parents sometimes. How's that?

lol..I'll add to this as I think stuff up.

 

[Biffdoggie]

Allready have an Xbox and a PS2 so I guess that's a step in the right direction. They are both good kids so I'm not lookin' at it as a burden, just a new thing to integrate really.

 

[Hick]

..go dig some worms...take ''em "fishin". Take the dogs for a run. Show 'em the joys of the outdoors. Enjoy them now. They're almost teenagers.

 

[Biffdoggie]

That is also one issue. I was supposed to be relocating back to the country and for now they are coming here to the city. We are not without outdoor activities but as far as places you can just cut them loose, few and far between. The beach is the best bet really.
I always said I wouldn't try to raise kids in the city, my how things change.

 

[astra007]

ok bud, having had foster kids a few times; here's my advise. lay down the house rules at the first opportunity. talk it over with mom then post them. like bed times. chores to do. how to meet and play with the dogs.
ya think they will be confused? so will yer dogs be. the dogs aint just pets; they're your kids. dogs and kids usually bond quick but no, ya cant ride them, they cant breath underwater, they have teeth. ect.... if the bedroom door is closed - then knock and wait. their bedroom doors stay open or ajar. light out means lights out. no back talk. every1 eats at the supper table at all times. dont leave food laying around or it will disappear. theres school work time, theres play time, theres family time and theres my time/adult time. dont make it to confusing but have the guidelines written and posted on the fridge. you get to be a parent - have fun. 1 time my wife sent 2 kids and me to our respective bedrooms for an hour. sitting in the bedroom is no fun - but the message stuck.

 

[Biffdoggie]

LMAO about the "kids and me to our rooms" comment. I hear ya, a little stability goes a long way. Thanks for the good input, keep it comin' all you folks with kids!

 

[rasta]

PATIENCES MY FRIEND PATIENCES ,kid will test the waters ,,thats what kids do,,be strong ,,be firm, be honest ,try to treat them the same ,believe me that is sometime hard ,,,when one kids being good the other will be testing you ,so its hard not to show favorites ,,,,try to pull from your child hood ,,think back to when you were a kid ,remember the stuff that bothered you as a child and don't do that to them ,,also remember the good things from your childhood ,and share them with your new family ,,,as always i will pray for you ,,,,you'll do fine ,,remember take no shit ,its a sign of weakness,,PEACE,LOVE,RASTAFARI

 

[SmokinMom]

Friday Night Game Night with pizza.

 

[Reverend Willis]

Well, it helps to beat 'em regularly with a big ol' stick.

I work with kids at school and have to remind myself that they are little people growing up in a different era. It's important to avoid too much of the "When I was a kid" stories. Personally, I dislike all the time being spent on video games and TV but hey, this is their time. Listen to them. Kids need an ear.
Also, you need to be on the same page as mama when it comes to discipline. If not, trouble will come knocking.
Give them love, a little water, and 1/4 strength nutes. No wait, that's for growing dope.
Enjoy and love them as family and everything will fall into place.

 

[SmokinMom]

How's it going so far Biff?

Not to worry. I bet you'll do just fine.

 

[Biffdoggie]

The first day was a bit rocky but it seems things will work out. I am sure I am causing myself more anxiety than is really needed but it's new ground for me. Thanks for the info Rev. and Rasta, always good to hear encouraging words (and I am allready picking out a good whoopin' stick!).
I should go get some games or something besides video games too, good thinkin' Mom. So far we've avaoided the video games but they're tryin', I am drawing a similar liking to the hounds, the better you wear them out, the easier it can be and the swimmin' pool works wonders.

 

[Reverend Willis]

The first day was a bit rocky but it seems things will work out. I am sure I am causing myself more anxiety than is really needed but it's new ground for me.

It's new ground every day even when you've done it before.

If you are comfortable with Biff, then the others will be comfortable with you. You can shape the minds and spirits of children but you can't change who they are. I've had step-kids and I made all the usual mistakes I'm sure. They came into my life at 11 & 15 and they still keep in touch 25 years later. Now they have their own step-kid problems to sort through. Now, it's their turn for some aggravation. There is justice and karma in the world when your kids have their own kids.

 

[Biffdoggie]

So true Rev. I was talking to my father earlier and told him he could take some comfort in the fact that I am getting my taste of the million questions about everything and the constant "why's" that come after an answer.
I remember being that kid and now I am in th other seat.
Things are going pretty smoothly, the only thing I have to get used to, which will just take some time, is not getting annoyed so easily, I deal well with it and I don't snap or anything, but I see that as something that comes with time/exposure.
All in all things are good and I thank you all for the words and advice.

 

[W ï l l]

~tokes~