How to Pass a Cannabis Mouth Swab Drug Test

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That reminds me of a story....
Many moons ago, my ex (who was working as a pipefitter at the time) was on an oil rig off Alaska. Someone had managed to smuggle a blunt aboard, and a bunch of guys, including him, scooted off to a secluded part of the rig to share it. Not sure if they missed the memo to smoke off the leeward side, but someone caught a whiff and the next thing you know, a helicopter lands with a drug dog. The entire crew were hauled up on deck for mouth swabs while the dog went through the bunkrooms.
Now, The Yeag was (and I assume still is) a quick thinking kinda guy, and the moment he saw that dog hit the decking, he grabbed the closest thing he could find to mask the test. It was a can of WD40. So, with delightfully fresh grease breath, he got swabbed and passed. Bunch of guys were summarily fired and flown off the rig on the helicopter.
I do not recommend this method!
It is, however, further proof that, in a pinch, nearly everything can be fixed with duct tape and/or wd40.
 
No I want to pee in a bottle and someone got to hold the bottle - Not it ! - I Ain't the best urine sniper ever - Might want some gloves -- and a gown - I would go with shoe covers too -- Could be like a sprayer hose got loose -- Now that I think about it goggles might be a good idea too !--
I'm old ---"F" your drug screens !-- I don't play that anymore -- I'm over it !-- Give me the swab and watch what I swab with it ?
 
Do they do mouth swab tests for jobs? I thought that was usually urine or hair?
Stuff like this makes me cringe because all I can think about are the people that are going to use this to not get caught driving stoned, which is an unsurmountably stupid thing to do.
 
I know that there are a couple companies dropping big coin on “Dui” cannabis breathalyzers right now.

They are each jockeying for position to center themselves to get national rollout with state governments.

I think it will all boil down to lobbying unfortunately even if it not accurate just like the “field tests” they have been using for years that lock innocents up every day.

:/
 
The breathalyzers aren't the decider, at least not here in Spain.
I mean yeah, it's a pain in the ass to get tested and show positive for THC cause you toked the night before, but you're then sent for a blood test which determines if you were actually stoned at the time of driving. If that test shows that the THC wasn't consumed within however many hours, you've just had a very awkward encounter that took up a lot of your time and your car was probably taken from you but hey, you can't be charged with shit.
 

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