Kid question

[theyorker]

So here's my dilema. My son is 11 and he is just like me. Really a good kid, but ADD all the way. We put him on Ritalin for about 18 months between the ages of 8 & 10. It worked, but he didn't like the way it made him feel. We have had him off the Ritalin for about a year now. I hate the idea of putting him back on it because of the message it sends. "Son something isn't quite right with your brain so we are going to give you drugs to fix it." But we know it works.

Now in January I've received 3 calls from school about his behavior and it is all over really dumb stuff. They are making him out to be a bad kid because he can't sit still in class. He got a indoor suspension because he threw a grape at a kid and when the kid threw it back at him the other kid hit a girl in the face with the grape. His teacher called me today because he can't pay attention in Spanish. This is all normal stuff to me, but I know how he is. He is immature, goofy, funny, silly, and all he wants to do is play. And it is over the top.

So I'd like other peoples opinions and points of view. Please let me know if you are a parent and how old your kids are. Would you give your kid Ritalin for ADD?

 

[StonedCold]

I'm no parent, but I wouldn't give my kid any ADD drugs until they were older. I wouldn't trust RX's and child development. Every drug has side effects, and you have to remember those are the only ones that we know thus far. I know a lot of kids at my college who take ADD drugs to cram for tests or for recreational ABuse... You can always tell who they are cause they study like robots, nothing phases or distracts them. That isn't the way we are supposed to learn or grow up. The drug literally sucks the soul out of the person for as long as it is in their system. That is my opinion. Sorry I don't have kids to give you an opinion from a more adult standpoint, but personally I think it is better I don't have kids yet haha...

 

[SmokinMom]

I have to disagree with StonedCold.

My son had issues paying attention in kindergarten. In 1st grade it continued and he had to go to tutoring a few days a week to spend extra time with his teacher. He had no behavorial issues, just trouble with paying attention and day-dreaming. In 2nd grade he still acted this way. His homework would take hours and hours. We would both end up in tears. It was sooo very frusterating. He actually did well on those benchmark tests, so he was indeed learning something, just couldn't apply it in class. He hated school and would fight us every morning.

Last summer, between 2nd and 3rd grade, I realized something had to be wrong. I didn't want to be quick to label my son, or quick to medicate either. We took him to a child psychologist to be evaluated for ADD. Sure enough, the scores showed what we probably expected all along. He was indeed ADD.

I know there are tons of kids who are overly medicated, and kids who shouldn't even be on these medications. Drs are so quick to diagnose and try and fix us with a pill. I struggled with my decision to medicate. I decided to give it a try. If it didn't work, I could always choose to stop.

I have a whole new kid this year!!! He loves school. He loves his teacher. He takes a normal ammt of time to complete his work. He is doing well on tests. I am so very proud of my son.

I am glad he got the help now. If he hadn't then each year would be more and more of a struggle. It's so clear the meds have helped him. We were very lucky in the fact that the 1st med we tried worked. He takes 5mg of ritalin in the morning and then after lunch at school. We don't dose on the weekends, or school holidays. I love the fact that this medicine is out of his system in 4 hrs.

I got a call from his teacher last week. She asked if we forgot to give him his meds that morning. He had spent 30 minutes on one math problem. Sure enough, I forgot to give it to him. Haha. He went to the clinic and took one and was back to his smart self.

My son needs the meds. Perhaps when he's a little older (he's now 9) he will learn other strategys on dealing with this, but for now he is doing GREAT! I am so so so so so proud of my son. I get teary-eyed just thinking about it.

 

[theyorker]

Thank you both for your replies...you both make perfect sense to me. My son will admit he was a better student and maybe even a better person on the meds. The thing is he didn't like it. He didn't like how life felt when he was on them. Yes, he could concentrate and sit still and learn. It was easier for him to follow directions and do the things that "society" requires of a boy his age. The thing is he did not like the way he "felt" when he was on them. And I could see the difference. The boy is high on life all the time. His favorite song is "All I wanna do is have some fun" (he goes around the house singing it.) And he is not that way when he is on the Concerta. And let me stress, I like him better on the stuff. He is way over the top when he is just himself. He is goofy, but he is a very good kid at heart and just loves to play. When he is on the Concerta he is calm, mature, and more enjoyable to be around. It's a difficult decision.

 

[SmokinMom]

So can you just go the Concerta route?

I've been concerned about my son being able to 'feel' a differance when he is on his meds. I truthfully think he can't tell. If it made him feel bad I'd probably reevaluate the meds. But like I said, we are on the lowest dose possible, and I also don't give him a pill in the late afternoon. (The Dr suggested a 4 PM dose to help with homework if needed) On the weekends and school holidays he is med-free.

 

[theyorker]

We had him on extended release Concerta 18mg. It made a big difference and we did the same thing you are doing. The thing is that it made such a big difference that it was hard not to give it to him all the time. He has this "mode" he can get into that is so bizare and when he is on Concerta that part of his personality is supressed. I think it's a benefit, but he says he would rather not take it. My wife is totally against the meds and I understand why. They can stunt growth and cause all kinds of problems because of tolerance build up. Then there is the whole thing about my "use". She is totally against this and as much as she loves me, she was raised to believe losers use drugs. She's a good catholic girl and she pretty much walks her talk. So it goes on...but I'm starting to think more and more Concerta might be helpful.

 

[SmokinMom]

Have you asked your son what he'd like to do? Sounds like a tough situation. If your son is anything like mine, he'd choose the meds and better grades.

My dh doesn't like me smoking weed much either. He is slowly coming around, and tolerates it a few times per month. Maybe one day he'll be okay with me starting a grow. I won't hold my breath though, haha.

 

[the_riz]

im no parent either, but i think each situation has to be judged differently, i mean if the kid doesnt like the way he feels on meds, fair enough personally i couldnt encourage my kid to take meds he doesnt like unless it was a serious case..

sounds a lot like my experience of school, although i dont have ADD, i am a chronic dyslexic when it comes to paying attention, most information goes in one ear out the other, especially numbers that sometimes never get as far as the first ear!.. they tested me in school and told me i was just lazy, but an independant test showed otherwise..

im doing well in life i like to think, there are different kinds of people, those who are accademic and those who are hands on 'learn by doing' people.. but drugs that shape people, i dunno, something just doesnt feel right about the whole thing in my eyes, not that im critisisng or judging btw, just my two cents

 

[llamaman]

I don't have my own kids but have lived with them a lot and have taught school for many years. I totally dissagree with giving kids drugs to "alter" their behavior. Young minds are still growing and developing and can be adversely effected by some of these new drugs like ritalin. I don't even think it is good for kids to smoke dope until they are 18 actually. It's just too hard on their tender brains.

One thing to remember is that we all (kids as well as adults) learn things in different ways. Some of us are visual and look at things and figure them out, some of us can listen to a lecture and learn, some of us read the instructions and figure things out. Some people use all different types of learning. Me personally, I used to do terrible in college when I had a lecture class, bored the crapout of me and I didn't learn a thing, I just couldn't pay attention. But I can digest books and learn information really fast.

The school I taught in was real alternative. We barely spent any time in the classroom at all. I had the kids out building things and doing activities that taught them the same information as a text, but kept them active. Don't forget those things called hormones! Kids aren't meant to be stuck in classrooms, straight rows of desks, sit down and shut up... Especially as they get to the middle school age they need to keep moving and be active. Too many schools are like prisons, windows that don't open, artificial lights, teachers that don't give a crap.

If I ever had a kid I would home school them or send them to a school that wasn't a public, generic school. Don't get me wrong, I realize that there are really great public schools out there, and many teachers who are caring wonderful educators. And I understand these alternatives aren't an option for many people. But, our kids are the future and are worth the investment. Remember, when we are old and grey they will be taking care of us! Don't we want to give them every option possible instead of just drugging them out?

Way more than my 2 cents worth...
The Llama

 

[SmokinMom]

llamaman- I appreciate your take as an educator, but I must say that your wrong about ritalin. It's been around for over 50 yrs so it is not a new medication. Check this out:

http://pediatrics.about.com/od/adhdmedications/p/05_ritalin.htm

I do agree with a lot that you say about the different learning styles and unfortunately not all schools offer that sort of thing. Ours for sure doesn't.

I can really only speak for my son. His meds have been a lifesaver. If we would have waited any longer I feel it could have made things worse. School gets really hard in 3rd grade where we live, and thats also when they begin those standardized tests that if you don't pass, you don't get promoted into the next grade. He went from being at the bottom of his class and in tutoring 2 days a week in 2nd grade to a 3rd grader who is reading on a 5th grade level and is in the top percent of his class. So that's why I sing praises for ritalin. Also his teacher is amazing, and I am sure my son has matured a bit as well. But still. I am just sooo proud of him. He's like a completely new kid. He has great self esteem and I know he's proud of himself too.

He is still active and still enjoys all of the same things. When I say he's like a different kid I just mean academically. He is still active and happy at home. His meds don't make him a zombie or anything. His appetite hasn't been affected and he sleeps fine at night. I know in my heart of hearts that we are doing the right thing for him.

Unfortunately the overmedicated kids, and kids that shouldn't be on these meds and are really give these meds a bad name. I was nervous to medicate because I've heard all the horror stories too.

 

[g-13]

leave the ritalin alone. hes just being a kid all kids are not the same he just has 2 much energy. class can get real boring you know. once he gets immuned to the ritalin then the doses get bigger then once it no longer does anything it becomes thorozene(wrong spelling im sure). which pretty much leaves him mute. let him grow out of it, hes just immature right now. if he wants drugs let him do them on his own. bad thing to say but its true.

 

[HGB]

have a 20 year old with ADHD since 3-4 and tried the meds mentioned here and he didnt like the way they made him feel....

We looked else where for help and was lead to HERE


peace

 

[theyorker]

I can't wait for Monday when I can reply to all this good stuff!!! (Too much family around on weekends). Good luck tonight with your Colts Mom!!! I like Manning and Dungy alot so I'll be cheering them on with you. Later.