Message to a friend.

[SativaWeed]

Untill you've been there, you have NO idea how deep the abyss of depression is. Sure you've been sad, boohoo. But it didn't HURT. The kinda hurt you begin to believe only the cold harsh grip of death could bring. It's harsh and not peaceful because the abyss is so deep that the thought of having to actually perform the task of offing yourself seems like a hassle so you procrastinate and sink deeper. You feel like a failure to yourself because you can't even get motivated to do it. You sleep all day and stay awake all night like a vampire. Your skin grows pale as you avoid the daylight now. The dark is your new, true friend. It hides you. Hides your sunken, dark ringed eyes. Your unshaven face. The same clothes you've worn for days. It blankets your friends, if you have any left, in peace and silences them and thier questions for a time. Leaving you alone in your gnawing pain and self doubt, to watch the clock and count the hours 'till the dreaded sun arises again and it's YOU who must hide. That's only a small picture of depression. Looking up from the bottom of the pit it seems there is no light. If you don't have someone to wave a match somewhere in you personal dark universe, you will never come out.
(This was written and posted by me for a friend who seeks to understand. They asked to have it here for thier own reasons, which I respect. I love you my friend. Here's the match.)

 

[SmokinMom]

I've been there. There's nothing worse then that feeling of despair and unworthyness. Looking back I realize it was more painful then anything I've ever had to go thru. I wouldn't wish that feeling on my worst enemy.

I'm sorry to hear you're in the pits of depression. And I appreciate your post. I hope you're able to dig yourself out soon. Sounds like you're trying to reach out, since you shared this with us.

Please hang in there.

***hugs***

SM

 

[SativaWeed]

Mom, I feel both greatfull and regretfull that you understand the pain. I too, don't wish it on anyone. It IS a physical thing from the phsycological realm. It's hell

 

[legalize_freedom]

I hope you feel better man...I've lived it to, every day wanting it to end. It can get better, it takes work, and talking out things you don't want to, but it's worth it man! I hope you find your way out.