Wily Willie Could Teach Those UT Potheads


i wanna be cool too!
Oct 22, 2005
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Texas -- I'm surprised state police in Louisiana found a pound and a half of pot on Willie Nelson's tour bus. Now, 2 1/2 pounds of pot wouldn't have surprised me. Then again, maybe Willie only had a pound and a half of weed on his tour bus because he was only going a couple of miles.
Either way, Willie showed his street genius during this escapade, and managed to skate legally because of it. After being stopped on Interstate 10 near Breaux Bridge, Nelson and four members of his traveling crew managed to avoid a felony charge.

How did they do this? They all craftily told the cops the pot was their pot.

If they had been like these dumb college football players who say it wasn't their pot, it was somebody else's pot, they could have gotten nailed for intent to distribute. But since they all claimed it was their pot, there couldn't be any distributing going on since they obviously intended to smoke it all up by themselves.

Sometimes gluttony is even more than its own reward.

So instead of being charged with a felony, Willie and friends were given misdemeanor citations for possession.

The news story I read about this said a trooper "smelled the strong odor of marijuana" when he approached the door of Willie's bus. No kidding? That would be like saying authorities noticed a large hole when they drove to the edge of the Grand Canyon.

I can hear that discussion now between Nelson and his friends, while being questioned by troopers. "That's my pot." "No, that's my pot. Git yo hands off my pot. Your pot is in the overhead." "No, that's my pot. Smoke y'own damn pot."

Let this be a valuable legal lesson for you college football players who are fixing to drive around town with weed in your car at 3 o'clock in the morning.

Just wondering: If former Texas running back Ramonce Taylor had used this approach, would he still be running for the Longhorns today? His attorney said the 4 pounds of pot the cops found in the back of his sport-utility vehicle weren't his. And now he's gone.

Remember in the good old days when Darrell Royal would bring Willie Nelson around to sing a few songs for his players before a bowl game? Maybe it's time Mack Brown brought Willie back to visit with the team. He could dispense spiritual advice. This could be uplifting, and save on bail money.

I'll admit I don't understand how Willie and his bus buddies managed to avoid a felony for the three ounces of funny mushrooms troopers found on the bus. Maybe they gave the Louisiana troopers a large sack of crawfish and a possum.

The average age of the five people busted on Willie's bus is 62. Do you know how you can tell Willie's tour bus from the nursing home bus? Willie's bus has the bags of munchies and a bong.

Average age of 62: sounds to me like Willie's tour may soon switch from on the road again to in the home again.

"In the home again,

"Gotta check back into the home again,

" Smokin' reefer in Depends,

"Gotta check back into the home again."

John Kelso's column appears on Sundays, Tuesdays and Friday.

Complete Title: Wily Willie Could Teach Those UT Potheads a Thing or Two

Source: Austin American-Statesman (TX)
Author: John Kelso
Published: Friday, September 22, 2006
Copyright: 2006 Austin American-Statesman

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