haha...that was good man...check these out...to be fair i will post both of them
Democractic National Convention Schedule
6:00 pm - Opening flag burning ceremony (lighter courtesy of Al Franken)
6:01 pm - Opening secular prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton
6:30 pm - Anti-war concert by Barbra Streisand.
6:55 pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:00 pm - Tribute theme to France.
7:10 pm - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.
7:25 pm - Tribute theme to Germany.
7:45 pm - Anti-war rally (Moderated by Michael Moore)
8:25 pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:30 pm - Terrorist appeasement workshop.
9:00 pm - Gay marriage ceremony, officiated by Rosie O'Donnell
9:30 pm - Intermission
10:00 pm - Posting of the Iraqi colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins.
10:10 pm - Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.
10:20 pm - Susan Sarandon presented with a Life-time Achievement award for anti-American rhetoric (medal presented by a tearful Michael Stipe)
10:30 pm - Abortion demonstration by N.A.R.A.L.
10:40 pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:50 pm - Pledge of allegiance to the United Nations
11:00 pm - Group oath to uphold the Bill of Rights (except for the 2nd and 9th Amendments, per the wishes of the ACLU, and portions of the 1st Amendment per the wishes of Tipper Gore)
11:15 pm - Maximizing Welfare workshop
11:30 pm - 'Free Saddam' pep rally
11:59 pm - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:00 am - Nomination of democratic candidate
12:01 am - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:02 am - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:03 am - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
Republican National Convention Schedule
06:00 pm - Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
06:30 pm - Pledge of Allegiance
06:35 pm - Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
06:45 pm - Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
06:46 pm - Seminar #1: "Getting your kid a military deferment"
07:30 pm - First Presidential Beer Bash for Bush
07:35 pm - Serve Freedom Fries
07:40 pm - EPA Address #1: "Mercury: how to ignore the 14 states litigating against the U.S. government"
07:50 pm - William Safire on the dangers of non-Protestant religion
08:00 pm - Vote on which country to invade next
08:05 pm - Trent Lott recognizes/salutes the KKK contingent
08:10 pm - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
08:15 pm - John Ashcroft Lecture: "The Homos are after your children"
08:30 pm - Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
08:50 pm - Seminar #2: "Corporations: the government of the future"
09:00 pm - Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
09:05 pm - Second Presidential Beer Bash for Bush
09:10 pm - EPA Address #2:" Trees: the real cause of forest fires"
09:15 pm - Roundtable discussion on the best way to bankrupt the federal government.
09:30 pm - Break for secret meetings
09:35 pm - **** Cheney on why we must invade Canada and find their weapons of mass destruction.
10:00 pm - Second prayer led by Pat Robertson
10:15 pm - Lecture by Karl Rove: "Doublespeak made easy"
10:30 pm - Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 pm - Bush demonstration of his trademark "deer in the headlights" stare
10:40 pm - John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt
10:45 pm - Clarence Thomas takes a minute to read the list of black republicans
10:46 pm - Third Presidential Beer Bash for Bush
10:50 pm - Seminar #3: "Education: a drain on our nation's economy"
11:10 pm - Hillary Clinton Piñata
11:20 pm - Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: "Evolutionists -- the dangerous new cult"
11:30 pm - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 pm - Blame Clinton
11:40 pm - Laura serves milk and cookies
11:45 pm - Pass the hat for the "Kenny Lay Defense Fund"
11:50 pm - Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 am - Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Leader
