Marijuana Jokes thread - and I go first!

[moopy]

I thought it would be fun to open a Marijuana, Cannabis and Hash jokes thread!

You are welcomed to write any jokes you know as long as they include smoking, smokers, cannabis, Marijuana, hash, joint, bong, chillum, and their friends! Here are the first ones:

- Stoned head died and went to hell. He opened his eyes and he sees of a huge marijuana field. Tons and tons of high quality juicy buds around him. He cannot believe his eyes. Suddenly, he sees another Stonehead. He runs towards him. And asks him in an astonished voice: "is this really hell? I always thought hell is lava and fire."
- The other Stonehead starts yelling: "Fire, Fire! You have Fire? We don't have fire here..."


:tokie: :bong1:

Go on and add your favorite jokes

 

[LaserKittensGoPewPew]

hahaha. I like that. Reminds me of something I learned in philosophy.

 

[the_riz]

"Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes, what do you want?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor Billy Bob Smith, He's hiding marijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open everypiece of wood, but find no marijuana. Later that day the phone rings at Billy Bob's house. "Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Happy Birthday, Buddy!"

 

[thedutchmaster3]

A stoner stumbles out of a party, and begins to walk home.
On the way, he bumps into a guy who is all mangled and bloody. The guy limps up to the stoner and mutters "Call me an ambulance!"

The stoner looks at him for a second, smiles, and says, "You're an ambulance!"

 

[bowlin high]

LOL keep the good jokes coming guys... I know im gonna be retelling them to my friends hehe

 

[Kindbud]

lmao oh my god that was a good one riz and moopy hahaha im going to have to remember them ones lol hears my little add in

You might be a pot head it
1 you wear sun glasses at night so you can see better
2 you have acctually put out a fire with bong water
3 the term "hydro" does not mean water
4 you have an usual parking space outside your local head shop
5 you have a name for your 3 bongs 2 pipes one of which was made by you
6 you know your measurements from grams to ounces by heart
7 your best friends are your dealer and your roller
8 you sell your car for gas money
9 after reading this list you have done most if not all
10 if you respect 4:20 to a religious value
11 if you sue your employer for not getting holiday pay on april 20th
12 if glass blowing was your minor and herbology was your major.....please e-mail me we need to chat

 

[LaserKittensGoPewPew]

haha...I'm actually learning to do glass blowing and people always tell me I should major in herbology! ahhaha! Hit me up if you're into glass blowing too!

 

[Kindbud]

hahahahha i want you to blow me a bowl lol i might learn how to do that is it hard??

 

[LaserKittensGoPewPew]

I'm just starting out. So far my spoons have been crap. I'm starting to get the hang of it though. Working on my tube pulls and prep work. Also trying to get my sections down so you don't see where all the pieces were joined together. Just takes practice to get the hang of it. It's so much fun though. Once you start you'll definitely be hooked. I can't wait to get the basic skills mastered so I can move on to more advanced stuff.

 

[moopy]

A stoner stumbles out of a party, and starts to walk home.
One the way he bumps into a guy who is all bloody and mangled. The guy limps up to the stoner and says "Call me an ambulance!" The stoner looks at him for a second, smiles and says, "You're an ambulance!"

 

[moopy]

What? No more jokes?...

Here's a really funny one:

A stoner walks into an appliance store and asks the owner, "How much for that TV set in the window?"
The owner looks at the TV set, then looks at the stoner, and says, "I don't sell stuff to potheads." So the stoner tells the owner that he'll quit toking and will come back the next week to buy the TV. A week later, the stoner comes back and says, "I quit smoking pot. Now, how much for that TV set in the window?"
And the owner says, "I told you I don't sell to potheads!" So the stoner leaves again.
He comes back a week later and says, "How much for that TV?"
The owner says, "I'm not going to tell you again, I don't sell to potheads!!!"
The stoner looks back at the owner and says, "How can you tell I'm a pothead?"
The owner looks back and says, "Because that's a microwave."