Cam
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- Oct 27, 2007
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Welcome to The Morning Wake N' Bake @ MP for Friday November 9, 2007.
Happy Fryday Folks. Today on the "WnB", itis funny Friday. Some of these ditty's are from me, others are from "silent" artists..threfore, I will not take credit for anything I wrote, we'll just say that these are all from anonymos writers. I think that they are funny as hell, I hope you do too.
:evil: The Evils Of Marijuana:evil:
A certain college professor was notorious for getting off the topic of the lecture, and on to his favorite subject: the evils of marijuana.
Off he went one day into his inventory of horrors: "Used regularly, pot can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer and castration!"
"Now wait a minute, Professor," interrupted a student. "Castration? That's absurd!"
"Now wait a minute, Professor," interrupted a student. "Castration? That's absurd!"
"No young man, it's sadly true," replied the Teacher smugly.
:hubba: "Just suppose your girlfriend gets the munchies!":hubba:
:hubba: "Just suppose your girlfriend gets the munchies!":hubba:
People lie about marijuana, they tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Thats a LIE!! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well, you just realize that it's not worth the f*****g effort, theres a difference !:yeahthat:
TREES
Two tall trees are growing in the woods.
A small tree begins to grow between them.
One tree says to the other, "Is that a son of a beech or a
Two tall trees are growing in the woods.
A small tree begins to grow between them.
One tree says to the other, "Is that a son of a beech or a
son of a birch?"
The other says he cannot tell.
Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
One of the tall trees says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert.
Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies,
"It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch.
That, my friends, is the best piece of ash I have ever put my
pecker in.:holysheep: "
THE MIRANDA RIGHTS FOR EVERYDAY LIFE
The Police: "You have the right to remain silent. Of course, should you choose to exercise this right, we will know that you are guilty and try to beat a confession out of you.
I hope that this put a smile on your face today. Why...because you deserve it..DAMMIT !
Peace, Love and Tie Dye,
Cam...'Till Tomorrow.
Wake N' Bake N' Be Bappy
The Police: "You have the right to remain silent. Of course, should you choose to exercise this right, we will know that you are guilty and try to beat a confession out of you.
You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, you're screwed and will be appointed a worthless lawyer who can't even hack Jacobie & Meyers.
Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?"
Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?"
There's a horny hippie on a bus which only has one other passenger on it, an elderly nun from a local parish.
The hippie is so in need of some free love that he approaches the nun and propositions her. Shocked that he would even think to ask her such a question, the nun pulls the line above her head and gets off the bus. Once she is gone, the bus driver calls the hippie over to him."Hey buddy, I know how you can get the nun to have sex with you."The hippie, excited by this asks how.
"Every night at midnight that same sister goes to the cemetery and prays by the statue of Saint Peter. If you dress up as Jesus and appear to her there she'll do anything you want!"
So the hippie gets a nifty Jesus costume together and goes to the cemetery at midnight.
Sure enough the sister is there, praying. He hides behind the statue and jumps out, saying "Sister, I am your God and I choose you to have sex with me."
The nun agrees, but asks if they can have anal sex so she can retain her virginity. The hippie, who is of the mindset that sex is sex, quickly agrees and does the deed.
When he's finished he's so proud of himself that he stands up, rips off his costume and screams "HAHA! I'm the hippie from the bus!!!!"
The nun stands, rips her habit from her head and screams "HAHA!!! I'm the bus driver!!!!"
The hippie is so in need of some free love that he approaches the nun and propositions her. Shocked that he would even think to ask her such a question, the nun pulls the line above her head and gets off the bus. Once she is gone, the bus driver calls the hippie over to him."Hey buddy, I know how you can get the nun to have sex with you."The hippie, excited by this asks how.
"Every night at midnight that same sister goes to the cemetery and prays by the statue of Saint Peter. If you dress up as Jesus and appear to her there she'll do anything you want!"
So the hippie gets a nifty Jesus costume together and goes to the cemetery at midnight.
Sure enough the sister is there, praying. He hides behind the statue and jumps out, saying "Sister, I am your God and I choose you to have sex with me."
The nun agrees, but asks if they can have anal sex so she can retain her virginity. The hippie, who is of the mindset that sex is sex, quickly agrees and does the deed.
When he's finished he's so proud of himself that he stands up, rips off his costume and screams "HAHA! I'm the hippie from the bus!!!!"
The nun stands, rips her habit from her head and screams "HAHA!!! I'm the bus driver!!!!"
"If someone with multiple personalities tries to commit suicide, do the police consider it a hostage situation?"
There once was a stoner from Leeds,
Who swallowed a handful of seeds,
Some beautiful grass,
Grew out if his ***,
But his balls were all covered in weeds!
Who swallowed a handful of seeds,
Some beautiful grass,
Grew out if his ***,
But his balls were all covered in weeds!
There once was a bud named B.C.
He grew on a 7 foot tree
Till one day I plucked him
Rolled him&smoked him
And now I can barely see.
He grew on a 7 foot tree
Till one day I plucked him
Rolled him&smoked him
And now I can barely see.
I hope that this put a smile on your face today. Why...because you deserve it..DAMMIT !
Peace, Love and Tie Dye,
Cam...'Till Tomorrow.
Wake N' Bake N' Be Bappy
