Weird part is the speech behind... It seemed more interesting than the clip itself...
Don't try to convince other people that it's not really you, but a guy named Larry who talks to a dirty sock on his hand, sometimes Larry follows people home from the mall and rents a room above their garage, Larry is probably best known for sleeping on a pile of empties in a dumpster. Say things to complete strangers like "you don't look so good, do you have a picture of your wife or your girlfriend i can look at?". Do one thing everyday that makes some one cry. Go to abstonance rallies and ask people "who wants to F**K?". Don't waste time with taxes, the government already has plenty of money, as long as you keep changing identities and moving, they'll never find you. Remember all of the insults you have received, keep them bottled up inside until you unleash them at a drunk and tirate at a young child's birthday party.
Wiser words...
Don't feel guilty about anything ever, feeling guilty is just another way of saying "i'm your b***h. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you wont, maybe you'll go to business meetings in banana sling underwear and a ski mask, maybe at your 75th wedding anniversary you'll tell everyone you go both ways, or used to. Enjoy your body, use it as a tool to get what you want. Make people bark like a dog for sex. Everytime you dance, stop at one point and pretend you're going into convulsions. Read directions, then shove the map in you mouth and swallow it. Get to know your parents, so you can blame all of your problems on them. Be aware that the sign of true genius is realising you don't know your *** from a hole in the ground. Be nice to your siblings, you never know when you're going to need some money and one of them may turn out to be a cash-cow. Understand that boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, which is why you should change your phone number every six months.
Wiserer words...
Work hard to bridge the gaps in your teeth, because teeth are a clear sign of intelligence, if you have lots of missing teeth, chances are pretty good you're an idiot. Live in NYC once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in San Francisco once, but leave before it makes some one else hard. Accept certain in-alienable truths. Some mom's moustaches come in better than yours. The older you get, the more you will suck at stuff. When you go to the zoo, the animals will stop what they are doing and stare at you. At your funeral everyone will be hungry and say "i wish there was a buffet out, because i could nibble". Get involved with someone who has a trust fund, stay over at their house and wake them up by throwing pennies at their feet, then say "hey rich boy, you want a piece of me?!", make them pay you to go away.
Wisest words...
Be careful who's advice you buy, and make sure you keep the receipt, advice is a way of learning from some one else's mistakes, take those mistakes and throw them back in their face, never let them forget their misery. The best advice you could ever receive is "never try".
