The Religions

[SativaWeed]

The Religions;

Taoism: Sh-t happens

Hinduism: This sh-t happened before

Confucianism: Confucius say: Sh-t happens

Buddhism: It is only an illusion of sh-t happening

Zen: What is the sound of sh-t happening?

Islam: If sh-t happens, it is the will of Allah

Jehovah's Witnesses: Knock, knock: 'Sh-t happens.'

Atheism: There is no such thing as sh-t.

Agnosticism: Maybe sh-t happens, and maybe it doesn't

Protestantism: Sh-t won't happen if I work harder

Catholicism: If sh-t happens, I deserve it

Judaism: Why does sh-t always happen to me?

Televangelism: Send money or sh-t will happen to you!

Rastafarian: Smoke that sh-t. :2940th_rasta:

 

[SmokinMom]

My fav;

Jehovah's Witnesses: Knock, knock: 'Sh-t happens.'

:rofl:

 

[IRISH]

mom, reminds me of a funny story. went to a buddies sons graduation party one night, and got to hammered to drive home, but had to get up early and go to work. i, along with several others crashed all over my friends house.
(back then, i could go all day on an hour of sleep. would'nt even think about it now.).

well, my internal alarm goes off, and i get up, bump around making coffee, trying to be quiet so not to wake anyone up. in the night light from the kitchen, i could see there were 4-5 people crashed in the living room.

while the coffee brewed, i threw on my sneakers, washed my hands and face, and went out to start my car to let her warm up. i go back inside for a cup of joe, and decide i better hurry, or i'd be late.

my friend, whom owns the house, wakes up a bit. he is sleeping on the couch. he says "have a good day. ha-ha, it sucks to be you." i'm on my way out the door, and as i reach to open it, someone knocks.

my friend, still laying on the couch say's in a joking way, "if thats those jehovas witness types, run 'em off". i open the door, and holy crap, it is them. well i'm on my way out. they say, " is mr. so and so here"?.

i said, " yes, come on in, he's right up there in the living room laying on the couch", and i walk out, just as i see him in a pair of boxers diving over the couch.. i hollered back, " you have a good day too"...:hubba:...bb...

 

[SmokinMom]

mom, reminds me of a funny story. went to a buddies sons graduation party one night, and got to hammered to drive home, but had to get up early and go to work. i, along with several others crashed all over my friends house.
(back then, i could go all day on an hour of sleep. would'nt even think about it now.).

well, my internal alarm goes off, and i get up, bump around making coffee, trying to be quiet so not to wake anyone up. in the night light from the kitchen, i could see there were 4-5 people crashed in the living room.

while the coffee brewed, i threw on my sneakers, washed my hands and face, and went out to start my car to let her warm up. i go back inside for a cup of joe, and decide i better hurry, or i'd be late.

my friend, whom owns the house, wakes up a bit. he is sleeping on the couch. he says "have a good day. ha-ha, it sucks to be you." i'm on my way out the door, and as i reach to open it, someone knocks.

my friend, still laying on the couch say's in a joking way, "if thats those jehovas witness types, run 'em off". i open the door, and holy crap, it is them. well i'm on my way out. they say, " is mr. so and so here"?.

i said, " yes, come on in, he's right up there in the living room laying on the couch", and i walk out, just as i see him in a pair of boxers diving over the couch.. i hollered back, " you have a good day too"...:hubba:...bb...

:spit: It sucked to be him, eh...

Great story, thanks.

 

[ShecallshimThor]

lmao nice one banjo

 

[CasualGrower]

Classic!!

 

[Two Balloons]

Hahaha excellent, but what about...

Mormanism: We're not allowed to indulge in any sh-t.
Shinto: There's sh-t in every living being and we must respect it.

 

[Thorn]

I seen those on a poster before..their great


I have a road signs one somewhere thats pretty funny.

The best one is the philosophy one on sh-t dunno if anyone seen that?

 

[Rockster]

Na,you got Islam wrong.

If **** happens,take a hostage...........and maybe cut off his head!

 

[city]

When I lived at the bachekor pad I used to call that 800 number for a free bible from the Morman church. Tell them my name and adress. But it was one of my roomates names.lol it was always nice to see them show up wanting to talk to my roomates.
They didn't have a job and needed god. Hahahaha

 

[BrendanV]

Na,you got Islam wrong.

If **** happens,take a hostage...........and maybe cut off his head!

Hmm... So many of you americans are brainwashed by the media!

 

[SmokinMom]

Hmm... So many of you americans are brainwashed by the media!

Brendan- this is all just for fun. I think any one of those religions up above would probably be offended in some way.

I also don't think Rockster is American.

 

[HydroManiac]

Rasta are jewish so I think they would be "rasta" is not a religion its a movement