Misunderstood?

[snuggles]

I don't know where to begin. I use to always say that i didn't care what others thought of me, like when I was 18. Thirty years later things change,life happens. I do care what others think and I am in a different situation than most. Severely physically handicapped and I am petrified of getting busted. Everyone I know understands why I smoke. I can honestly say that if I never got sick and everything was like before I wouldn't be smoking. I personally don't care who does unless it totally screws up thier life or affects mine in some way. And for parents with kids in the house be real careful. Try growing in your garage when your little brother is leo and wants to show off his new highly trained k-9 partner. :holysheep:

Ouch, I don't like LEO but I meant no offense to you I know you love your brother. But you are a good example ms4ms, if I wanted to help people who are ill I get crap. I could tell a hundred people that it does help some people it really does and medically and then they look at me like I'm taking advantage of someone like you. I feel for you, I used to be engaged to a girl that is a Director at the NMSS and it broke my heart to see how many people are less fortunate than someone like me. I don't mean you are less of a person not at all but you have a lot you need to take care of to make sure you are OK and healthy. You have enough problems is what I'm trying to say I guess, and I am lucky enough to be able to help people in your situation but the misunderstanding that people get from my actions is what bothers me. When I say it helps sick people, me included ms4ms I'm an alcoholic, but I have the ability to be your friend and help. People look at you funny when you say MJ would help them and some of them even accuse me of taking advantage of sick people cause I just want to get high....it's insane, let me help without judging me on something you know nothing about. I watched my mom rot away from Cancer and MJ would have eased her pain and suffering you know, it can really help during chemo. I was with her every step of the way, I fought like I never fought for 13 years, I can't imagine what she felt like. I did everything for her, I was the only one who held her hand when she passed at exactly 11:35 PM I saw the last breath and knew I had a job to do one that causes people to judge me. My own grandmother will not speak to me anymore, she says I am taking advantage of her daughter, she was my mother and it hurts me real bad. I think this is what I meant to say but I have a hard time typeing what I feel. I want no credit I just want to be part of a cause I believe in with all my heart. Trust me ms4ms I am a man of my word and I made a promise...I might be doing 90 days and guess what gets me through everyday now...the hope that I can touch just one person just one and my 90 days will have been worth it. I promise I would never turn my back on anyone of you NEVER!!! I don't know you at all but I know I believe in something, and I think that something is perhaps one of the most important things in the world...I made a promise and some people even my own friends think I am out of my mind, and my own grandmother for god's sake I am still her grandson. Ignorance and lies have put up boundaries that are ripping families and this society apart for the sake of the almighty dollar...for greed.

See that last sentence? Some people misunderstand that, how do you help people by legalizing MJ? Explain it to me and I do and they will say things like just donate to Cancer societies or something. Sure I'll give them money they can spend 5% on research I don't agree with LOL. What do I do for Cancer though, I volunteer to do some set up and grunt work at Breast Cancer events, I cut my hair when it gets long enough for wigs (Locks for Love) and I love and comfort my family and friends when they have ill family members. I tell my friends I walk the walk no more talk and they really don't get it. In fact most of them think I lost my mind and don't realize when my mom passed I never felt anything more clearly in my life...even in death my mother gave me a purpose for my life everyday she still teaches me things. Do you understand what that means? You may but most don't and it hurts cause I take the cause personally and I meant what I said, if you needed my help I would drive across the country for you friend I would find a way to do it I really would. Cause the hatred and misunderstanding puts up boundaries that really hurt people and it makes me hurt. I don't want to hurt anymore. And sometimes I think what happened to me and I realize the system made me what I am and I hope one day I can say I am an activist and that my mother deserves all the credit not me. Some people don't understand that....how could that be a tribute to your mother? They think it's wrong. The day I get my sentencing I will get to say something in court, what do you think I'm going to say? And I'll look like Satan to most but if one person gets it then good at least I know something positive will come of it. Like I said no more talk just do it, but I need help a lot of it.

Sorry for the rant but I believe in helping it's how I was raised....I had a good mom she was special and I KNOW SHE IS WATCHING AND SHE IS WORRIED FOR ME BUT PROUD. I know I am doing the right thing but like I said I need help and nobody will help cause they misunderstand me...it hurts. I could care less about what people think of me otherwise trust me there I fly my own flag and to some it's a freak flag but to me it's one of love understanding etc. This is the same guy that had to take anger management for spitting on an officer, I made a mistake and now I choose to turn the other cheek but you best believe there is enough anger in me to keep me going until the day I die or the day the boundaries come down. In fact if I am lucky enough to see that day I do not know what I will do, for almost half my life I have gone through a fight, a fight for a loved ones life and rights and I still fight and will not stop. People need to understand that my mother was young and died in a nursing home...the insurance company wouldn't pay for the hospital anymore, you can't treat a sick person. When I tell people my story I also say I am just one of millions we all have stories but they still don't get it and that eats me up like nothing else. Sorry for the rant but I have to say what is on my mind.

 

[BBFan]

Wow snuggles- you sound like a good person -I hope your troubles from last weekend have disappeared. You didn't mention if they ever charged you.

As far as the poll- in the US mj is illegal- bottom line. I smoke, my son smokes, a few of my friends smoke. But others I associate with do not. Regardless of how I feel about the ridiculous laws and the government waste of taxpayer money fighting to uphold those laws, they are the laws. We can all say we don't care what others think, but if that were true, many of us would be in jail right now and not writing on these boards and sparking one up. It s%@ks, but that's the way it is. I do what I can with my vote and with contributions I make and I'm sure that some day the laws will change. So some of the people I associate with share my thoughts and opinions, and others, well we just don't discuss it. I simply don't disclose my position. If it should come up- I'll say I think the laws need to change- this country has way bigger problems. Am I a coward? Perhaps. But I prefer to stay out of prison. That's why I don't sign my real name to this post.
Take care and good luck with your situation, I hope you don't have to do those 90 days. -BBFan

 

[KGB30]

I am a medical patient who really doesn't care what people think or say.

KGB

 

[snuggles]

Wow snuggles- you sound like a good person -I hope your troubles from last weekend have disappeared. You didn't mention if they ever charged you.

As far as the poll- in the US mj is illegal- bottom line. I smoke, my son smokes, a few of my friends smoke. But others I associate with do not. Regardless of how I feel about the ridiculous laws and the government waste of taxpayer money fighting to uphold those laws, they are the laws. We can all say we don't care what others think, but if that were true, many of us would be in jail right now and not writing on these boards and sparking one up. It s%@ks, but that's the way it is. I do what I can with my vote and with contributions I make and I'm sure that some day the laws will change. So some of the people I associate with share my thoughts and opinions, and others, well we just don't discuss it. I simply don't disclose my position. If it should come up- I'll say I think the laws need to change- this country has way bigger problems. Am I a coward? Perhaps. But I prefer to stay out of prison. That's why I don't sign my real name to this post.
Take care and good luck with your situation, I hope you don't have to do those 90 days. -BBFan

I would never call anyone a coward, you are a good person I can tell. I keep it quiet, my activity I do. But I do speak my mind if I know the person, my goal is to raise awareness rmove the ignorance. I will tell you some of my buddies who don't smoke enjoy my "emails" about the subject, some are absolutely shocked that this is going on. Problem is with raising awareness is it is one persons way of helping that's all. I would never judge anyone I'm not like that, well at least one of you guys or an ignorant person the only ones I judge are the lie spreaders, the people that know they are hurting people but still continue with their anti MJ campaigns for their own benefit...in my mind it's wrong. It would be just as wrong for me to come out and tell me friends that MJ is the cure for cancer, we don't know that but we need to look into it. I believe we as fellow citizens have a duty to do what we can for other citizens especially some of the sicker people who can't fight for themselves. People need help and I'm not saying to run out and be an arse about it but to inform people, like friends and family that maybe they should check this out or that out. I have friends that stand by me 100% and they don't smoke and they had no clue about MM, it makes me feel good when I do an email, I do it weekly for the most part...sometimes I go for the heart and other times I show them links or explain to them what things are like cannabinoids and endocannabinoids. Just so people can make thier own decisions, they already have all the anti stuff, most of us do as it is ingrained into us in school so I figure here's the other side go with it. It does work.

I wouldn't say I was a good person, I'm grey like everyone else...I have done many many things I am not proud of many but hey I'm human so I can't dwell. Oh they will charge me, and 90 days is the worst I can get I am told, and lawyers always give you the worst case scenario. I am happy though cause I have found an ally, my lawyer used to be my neighbor and his sons and I used to get all fired up in the house or in my house and he was always shaking his head LOL. He's a lawyer so he would say c'mon guys not in the house LOL, he's a big drinker BTW which I have no problem with he was always a good guy and he gets his job done. He is also a councilman in town, when I showed up to tell him what happened I expected a lecture, I do work for him often so we are pretty tight. But I never told him my beliefs he's not close enough to me. I showed up with a load of papers and my brain, he told me in 15 minutes+ with me that he learned more about MJ than any class or seminar type deal. He was thouroughly impressed...he also said when tis blows over you leave, he knows what I want to do and he supports so much so that he told me I can use his site to post links and what not about MJ and the law...as lons as they are not crazy or made up things you know. I would never do anything like that, the other side can lie I won't I wanna play fair when it comes to awareness. This is what I mean I found a guy who can help me I need to find more, he's a lawyer and a politician and he was really fascianted especially when I told him to look at norml.org closely, he knew it existed but never checked out the site...he is on my side and I didn't think he would be. He did say to keep quiet for now until we know more and what is going on....if they work a deal it might be better for me to look like an arse and take it and then get the hell out of dodge. I really mean it I found a purpose and I enjoy it even though it is frustrating. No matter what we find out about MJ I think we need to remember that it is about compassion and fellow man looking out for each other. I also don't have a family or anyone else this could effect. BB you are no coward why you would say that I don't know, if I came across like that I did not mean it. Nor do I expect everyone to be like me but I have a right to say what I want legal or not, I know what you meant there, meaning I know the consequences whether I agree or not, look at what I'm being charged with for the love of god LOL. They will charge me I'm almost positive I'm a regualr smoker and we have THC in our body all the time it isn't making me high but it gets me the worst or rather highest penalty DUI I can get in PA. I'll tell you though it was so surreal to be standing there with some really intoxicated people and say to myself I sobered up 2.5 years ago only to get my first DUI and a DUI at the worst possible level. I know the law though but I have to say something cause when the laws are wrong the people need to say hey this isn't right if we don't we get walked on...just my belief that's all.

 

[snuggles]

I am a medical patient who really doesn't care what people think or say.

KGB

What if you lived in a non MM state? I'm telling you Cali and PA are 2 different places. How would you feel if people were squashing your right to medicate how you choose. I don't know how serious your condition is but would you feel frustrated if they told you how you could medicate? Or if someone said I know you're the sick one now listen to me I'm going to tell you what you are allowed to put into your body cause it's policy, not cause it's best for you. I like chatting with you all BTW so keep it coming please. Everybody is entitled to say what's on their mind for or against MJ but not without some facts to back themselves up...and not my 2nd grade teacher said it was bad LOL.

 

[KGB30]

Life one big bowl of good smoke wiht out it life is to stressful.

KGB

 

[snuggles]

Life one big bowl of good smoke wiht out it life is to stressful.

KGB

LOL I hear you friend I hear you.

 

[mojosat]

I can count on one hand all the people that know I smoke and 4 of those are related to me. When you have a career, a home, and a family to protect, you should very well give a crap what people think of you, whether or not they are misinformed or for whatever their reasons are.

 

[KGB30]

If the whole world would just smoke life would be much better.

KGB

 

[KGB30]

That just causes you to be more stress out then enjoying life man or women.

KGB

I can count on one hand all the people that know I smoke and 4 of those are related to me. When you have a career, a home, and a family to protect, you should very well give a crap what people think of you, whether or not they are misinformed or for whatever their reasons are.

 

[Dubbaman]

Ive never cared what anyone really thinks of me. Back in the school days i looked at it from the stand point that so long as every one was talking about me behind or in front of my back they were leaving someone else's feelings be. Now there is many things that i have to consider things like what Mom said with the kids and appearances, sure in that aspect i have to look nice and tidy and respectable so i do, but as far as what the others still think i could care less. As it would pertain to MJ id be willing to be that none of these people would even suspect me for it sure they know that i tend to have poker parties and were all around drinking but id bet thats all they think of. Do i worry about what my family or others that know what I'm up to in there nah they are all in on it too and are behind what ever push there would be to have it legal and available OTC.

 

[snuggles]

I can count on one hand all the people that know I smoke and 4 of those are related to me. When you have a career, a home, and a family to protect, you should very well give a crap what people think of you, whether or not they are misinformed or for whatever their reasons are.

I agree 100%. That's another thing that frustrates me cause I bet your a great dad, it's all about protecting the loved ones. In a perfect world you could have a joint like a guy has a beer and not be judged. Good point

 

[ChatNoir]

Terribly misunderstood by an ex in the medical field, incapable of looking at it in any way other than current standard western-government dogma. She hid this belief for a long time, but eventually came out with all the sad ** about how I'm a drug addict.
Now it's just me and my green girls, works a hell of lot better.

I can not understand the idiocracy behind this ingnorance! I used to think that cannabis is an evil plant but I was undereducated about the plant and since I started to read and learn which is approximately four years ago, I started to fall for the plant and now I believe it is the best medicine and best intoxicant which can be found.

About the addiction issue, if it were the case, I would be crying out loud now like "I want pooooot!" as I have yet to smoke a puff in last 18 months and never had an urge to smoke and I quit smoking cannabis plant because I find myself in distaste with dealer concept, now I am planning to grow my own and smoke my own....

In anycase, I have a little tolerance for the people devoid of logic, unable to change their mindset in the face of overwhelming facts so they can stay far away from me and contact me only in case of a job offer or some kind of collaboration as an associate and no more. I need open minded people in the area of my private life whom knows their boundaries.

 

[Puffin Afatty]

Michigan is not [YET-- it's on the november ballot :yay: ] a MM state. I understand how you feel. better than half of my in laws and even 1 of my own kids is in LE. I dont make a real secret that I smoke, they all know, but I dont leave anything in plain site, nor do I smoke in their face. Since its family, especially in my own home, their attitude is dont ask, dont tell.

Generally, I dont get political about controlled substances, no real point as it's their job, but none of them believe in adult substance prohibition of any kind [most are native american].

None of my inlaws hold it against me, but a couple of their kids got in my face about smoking, an intervention of sorts, and I couldnt hold back the laughter. this 7th grader holding my tobbaco pipe, and a humidor of my best cigars, and her 8th grade sister showing me pictures of a blackened lung and mouth cancers. I must admit, I signed a pledge to not smoke my pipe or cigars for 30 days :rofl:

illegal, ignored, tolerated, used and abused, MJ sets it's fans apart. :hubba:

 

[snuggles]

Michigan is not [YET-- it's on the november ballot :yay: ] a MM state. I understand how you feel. better than half of my in laws and even 1 of my own kids is in LE. I dont make a real secret that I smoke, they all know, but I dont leave anything in plain site, nor do I smoke in their face. Since its family, especially in my own home, their attitude is dont ask, dont tell.

Generally, I dont get political about controlled substances, no real point as it's their job, but none of them believe in adult substance prohibition of any kind [most are native american].

None of my inlaws hold it against me, but a couple of their kids got in my face about smoking, an intervention of sorts, and I couldnt hold back the laughter. this 7th grader holding my tobbaco pipe, and a humidor of my best cigars, and her 8th grade sister showing me pictures of a blackened lung and mouth cancers. I must admit, I signed a pledge to not smoke my pipe or cigars for 30 days :rofl:

illegal, ignored, tolerated, used and abused, MJ sets it's fans apart. :hubba:

Good for you, made the kids feel good I bet.

 

[SmokinMom]

When you have a career, a home, and a family to protect, you should very well give a crap what people think of you, whether or not they are misinformed or for whatever their reasons are.

Exactly what I was trying to say in my post.

If you can mosey on in your life without worry, good for you. But I can't.

 

[Aurora_Indicas_Dad]

Oh I'm not saying they don't hang with me it's just they don't get me and the cannabis or some of my beliefs like ending the drug war, maybe I should have been clearer...all my friends are great and accepting people, we are all a little different here and there. Like my views on the Drug War, they look at me sometimes like I'm crazy....I'm one of those harm reduction guys and sometimes it takes a bit to grasp what I'm saying LOL.

But I am accepted by my friends it's not that it's just hard for them to get me sometimes and my beliefs and love of cannabis and my feelings toward the drug war.

i feel there should be a war on drugs,but not a harmless herb like cannabis.i think they should eliminate weed outta the war and spend more time crackin down on crack,meth and heroin.these are the drugs they should be concerned about.LEAVE US POT SMOKERS/GROWERS ALONE DAMN IT some people dont get why i smoke,expecially on a daily basis but i dont ever actually hang out with em.im kind of a loner type.lately i feel all my friends are on this forum. i still talk and hang out with my good friends.its just i have a few that NEVER EVER buy smoke so im always the one firin up,so i almost feel used by em so i dont hit em up much.all my good friends just so happen to toke regularly like me though.i see one of the dudes that i work with get outta work at 6am and he starts drinkin once he gets home.it make me feel a lil better seein him.its funny though,he doesnt see how i can smoke so much,and i dont understand how he can drink so much so early,kinda funny.hes a good dude though,he usually shows up at work smellin like a brewery,and i show up smellin like a skunk so it all evens itself out.were just 2 fu#*ed up dudes stockin grocerys all night..pretty fun at times.-anyways,theres my $.02-peace