Strange thread, need advice

[j99jm]

So I'm a HUGE Dave Matthew's fan, part of the Warehouse Fan Club and have been going every year for 5 years when he comes locally (sometimes twice a year).

My brother, his friends, all of my childhood friends and Dave fans alike all look foreward to this show every year. It's the only thing I look forward to....

Now here's the problem... The girlfriend doesn't understand what is so great about all of us getting there 3 hours early, partying with all the other fans as well as mine and enjoying the show. It's like a family reuinion, everyone there ends up being friends almost immediately.

She won't let me go this year... =( She is still screaming at me about how responsible it is to give up a single shift at work (a very, very slow shift anyways) to satisfy this one NEED I have this year that I have been patiently looking forward to... All of my friends think i'm crazy to let a female tell me what I can and cannot do, and I'm starting to step back and realize... Holy ****....

How many of you would get rid of their significant (or maybe not so significant) other if they told you that you could simply not enjoy the only thing you ask that they understand and just let you do with thier support..? Thanks for listening!

You all know those movies about a bunch of guys growing up together, then of course one has the ***** girlfriends who won't let the guy hang out with his friends.. Saving Silverman anyone?

 

[SmokinMom]

Take her with you and promise her to a good time.

 

[j99jm]

Oh i've tried, trust me. How do you think she feels about BOTH of us giving up a shift tonight? lol

 

[SmokinMom]

If you've already got the ticket then you gotta go. And if she really cares about you then she won't leave over a stupid concert. Good luck. And Have fun.

 

[HippyInEngland]

Oh to be young and have these worries only on my mind lmao!

 

[HippyInEngland]

One bit of advice I give you, you have 2 options when with a female, you give her trust and your whole being as a human, or you see her as just a skirt who will mess your mind and be nothing apart from a pain who will try to control, if she means more than Dave Matthew's and >> she gives up her enjoyment for you <<, maybe you should for her, only you know the answer.

Hippy

 

[Runbyhemp]

If boy really loved girl he would not go to concert, and if girl really loved boy then she would let him got to concert.

Pity it aint that simple. Only you know what the right thing to do is.

All of my friends think i'm crazy to let a female tell me what I can and cannot do

Depends how long you've been with her. If you're dating and she's trying to control you, then adios, outta there. If you've been together a long time things are different then.

Maybe there's something upsetting her she's not telling you about (wouldn't be unusual with the fairer sex) Maybe she wants a night out too. Anyway you could "soften" her up ?

Best of luck

 

[j99jm]

Ahh well we've been together about 9 months and now live together. The main reason for the post is that things just seem a little out of hand coming from a man's perspective, and I wanted some opinions on the one that put it over the top.
I have a free ticket waiting for me, but she says it's selfish that I can go when she has to work. However, I've said for 6 months I wanted the both of us to go.
All of OUR money goes into HER account which she has the only card/checks for. She tells me when I need to pick up shifts or when I can take a day off of work... It's just one of those things where you wake up and you're suddenly a completely different person because someone is controling your life... You kinda scratch your head and say "wait....... ***... how the hell did I end up here?!"

I feel bad if I didn't ask if I could buy the $2 hamburger at Mcdonald's on the way home from running errands..............................

Friends and family are saying i'm nuts so I wanted to get some opinions from this very friendly community. =) Thanks!

 

[SmokinMom]

Dang...doesnt sound like much of a relationship. Damn!

 

[Mutt]

Seems to me that there is a little more taking than giving in the relationship. Everyone needs a little play time. Over work=burnout which makes a person very unhappy. When a person is unhappy it affects all parts of there life. including your work. Seems to me if you only ask for this once a year and not much else, she should let you go and have fun. It's too bad she won't go with you. Probably do you both good. But there are always two sides to every story.
A relationship can't work if there is no fun and enjoyment in it at all. Ya have to break up the monotany. IMHO. Or it will go stale fast.

Good luck hope things work out for ya both.

 

[mojosat]

Ahh well we've been together about 9 months and now live together. The main reason for the post is that things just seem a little out of hand coming from a man's perspective, and I wanted some opinions on the one that put it over the top.
I have a free ticket waiting for me, but she says it's selfish that I can go when she has to work. However, I've said for 6 months I wanted the both of us to go.
All of OUR money goes into HER account which she has the only card/checks for. She tells me when I need to pick up shifts or when I can take a day off of work... It's just one of those things where you wake up and you're suddenly a completely different person because someone is controling your life... You kinda scratch your head and say "wait....... ***... how the hell did I end up here?!"

I feel bad if I didn't ask if I could buy the $2 hamburger at Mcdonald's on the way home from running errands..............................

Friends and family are saying i'm nuts so I wanted to get some opinions from this very friendly community. =) Thanks!

Dude unless you are married you should never ever have a joint checking account with someone, let alone just dumping your money into her account that does not even have your name on it. In fact even if you are married it can be a bad idea. I found out with my first wife that two of the worst phrases in the english language are joint checking account and power of attorney.
Seriouslt get your own checking account and then split what bills get paid by who for your budget so theres no confusion

To this day my wife and I keep our own accounts for bills and living expenses and agree on how much each of us is goig to deposit into the joint account we share for savings and emegencies.

As far as the concert goes...GO!!! She will either realise that it is something important to you and get over it, (maybe make a little list of the sacrifices you have made for her in the relationship) or she will throw a hissy fit and if she gets that upset about it,(especially since you are getting a free ticket) then how is she going to handle the real stresses presented by a serious realtionship down the road, i.e. marriage, kids, mortgage, etc.

 

[j99jm]

That's exactly my point. Always talks about how much she would like us to get married, have kids etc. I'm just reaching out since I have purposely stayed out of relationships for 7 years! So not only is it new to me all over again, it's like holy crap, it's this easy to get into those situations I hear my buddies telling me about and ending relationships over.

I pay half of her truck payment and insurance, her credit card bill and department store bill and I'm the selfish one for wanting to go to one event that is important to me?

It's funny how people can't see eye to eye and bicker about such small things that you would think are obvious for other people to understand!

 

[THCPezDispenser]

9 month relationship and she is controlling all your money? Dude this doesn't sound good at all. Sounds like she's the spender and you're not even getting thrown a bone.

Here's the steps:
Relationship - Thought you were trapped
Marriage - Now you really thought you were trapped
Kids - You know you are trapped

Moral of the above if you don't think it is happening and you are not going to be happy living like this, the earlier the better to start fresh, waiting makes it messier and messier. I think you need to rethink the relationship man, unless you are a mad spender and she is actually helping you manage your money better.

Pez

 

[MrPuffAlot]

one simple question.

DO YOU LOVE HER?

yes or no??

and you have your answer.

IMO: dont buy the cow if the milk is free.

Dont be a fool.. Get your own bank account. PERIOD

I think she is sour grapes because you only have one ticket and you
are not going with her. I wouldn't let my wife go if my wife was in your
situation. But we are married with 2 kids.

 

[Capt. Skinx]

Ex-wife (EX, MIND YOU.....) pulled the same poo with TOOL a few years back. MHO: Tell her you are going, and if she doesn't like it dump her on her azz....