I'ma Joker Midnight Toker
Drive fast, take chances
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2008
- Messages
- 457
- Reaction score
- 361
[FONT="]Karma...[/FONT]
[FONT="]A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard.[/FONT]
[FONT="]Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the[/FONT]
[FONT="]right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten [/FONT]
[FONT="]the red light by accelerating through the intersection.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in[/FONT]
[FONT="]frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection,[/FONT]
[FONT="]and dropping her cell phone as she braked to a halt.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and[/FONT]
[FONT="]looked up into the face of a very serious police [/FONT]
[FONT="]officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]He took her to the police station where she was searched,[/FONT]
[FONT="]fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a[/FONT]
[FONT="]policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted[/FONT]
[FONT="]back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her[/FONT]
[FONT="]personal effects.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up[/FONT]
[FONT="]behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front[/FONT]
[FONT="]of you, and cussing a blue streak at him." I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do'[/FONT]
[FONT="]bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow[/FONT]
[FONT="]Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish[/FONT]
[FONT="]emblem on the trunk; naturally...I assumed you had stolen the car."
[/FONT]
[FONT="]:hitchair:
[/FONT]
[FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Why I fired my Secretary.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Last week was my birthday[/FONT]
[FONT="]and I didn't feel very well[/FONT]
[FONT="]waking up on that morning.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]I went downstairs for breakfast[/FONT]
[FONT="]hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,[/FONT]
[FONT="]'Happy Birthday!',[/FONT]
[FONT="]and possibly have a small present for me.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]As it turned out, she barely said good morning,[/FONT]
[FONT="]let alone ' Happy Birthday.'[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]I thought...[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Well, that's marriage for you,[/FONT]
[FONT="]but the kids... They will remember.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast[/FONT]
[FONT="]and didn't say a word.[/FONT]
[FONT="]So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low[/FONT]
[FONT="]and somewhat despondent.[/FONT]
[FONT="]As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,[/FONT]
[FONT="]'Good Morning Boss, and by the way[/FONT]
[FONT="]Happy Birthday ! '[/FONT]
[FONT="]I felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door[/FONT]
[FONT="]and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside,[/FONT]
[FONT="]and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch,[/FONT]
[FONT="]just you and me.'[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing[/FONT]
[FONT="]I've heard all day.[/FONT]
[FONT="]Let's go !'[/FONT]
[FONT="]We went to lunch.[/FONT]
[FONT="]But we didn't go where we normally would go.[/FONT]
[FONT="]She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table.[/FONT]
[FONT="]We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know,[/FONT]
[FONT="]It's such a beautiful day...[/FONT]
[FONT="]We don't need to go straight back to the office,[/FONT]
[FONT="]do we?[/FONT]
[FONT="]I responded, 'I guess not.[/FONT]
[FONT="]What do you have in mind ?'[/FONT]
[FONT="]She said,[/FONT]
[FONT="]'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner.'[/FONT]
[FONT="]After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,[/FONT]
[FONT="]' Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom[/FONT]
[FONT="]for just a moment.[/FONT]
[FONT="]I'll be right back.'[/FONT]
[FONT="]'Ok.' I nervously replied.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes,[/FONT]
[FONT="]she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ...[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Followed by my wife,[/FONT]
[FONT="]my kids,[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]and dozens of my friends[/FONT]
[FONT="]and co-workers,[/FONT]
[FONT="]all singing 'Happy Birthday'.[/FONT]
[FONT="]And I just sat there...[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]On the couch...[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Naked.:holysheep:[/FONT]
My daughter sent me these, hope you enjoy...
[FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="]A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard.[/FONT]
[FONT="]Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the[/FONT]
[FONT="]right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten [/FONT]
[FONT="]the red light by accelerating through the intersection.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in[/FONT]
[FONT="]frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection,[/FONT]
[FONT="]and dropping her cell phone as she braked to a halt.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and[/FONT]
[FONT="]looked up into the face of a very serious police [/FONT]
[FONT="]officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]He took her to the police station where she was searched,[/FONT]
[FONT="]fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a[/FONT]
[FONT="]policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted[/FONT]
[FONT="]back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her[/FONT]
[FONT="]personal effects.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up[/FONT]
[FONT="]behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front[/FONT]
[FONT="]of you, and cussing a blue streak at him." I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do'[/FONT]
[FONT="]bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow[/FONT]
[FONT="]Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish[/FONT]
[FONT="]emblem on the trunk; naturally...I assumed you had stolen the car."
[/FONT]
[FONT="]:hitchair:
[/FONT]
[FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Why I fired my Secretary.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Last week was my birthday[/FONT]
[FONT="]and I didn't feel very well[/FONT]
[FONT="]waking up on that morning.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]I went downstairs for breakfast[/FONT]
[FONT="]hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,[/FONT]
[FONT="]'Happy Birthday!',[/FONT]
[FONT="]and possibly have a small present for me.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]As it turned out, she barely said good morning,[/FONT]
[FONT="]let alone ' Happy Birthday.'[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]I thought...[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Well, that's marriage for you,[/FONT]
[FONT="]but the kids... They will remember.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast[/FONT]
[FONT="]and didn't say a word.[/FONT]
[FONT="]So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low[/FONT]
[FONT="]and somewhat despondent.[/FONT]
[FONT="]As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,[/FONT]
[FONT="]'Good Morning Boss, and by the way[/FONT]
[FONT="]Happy Birthday ! '[/FONT]
[FONT="]I felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door[/FONT]
[FONT="]and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside,[/FONT]
[FONT="]and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch,[/FONT]
[FONT="]just you and me.'[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing[/FONT]
[FONT="]I've heard all day.[/FONT]
[FONT="]Let's go !'[/FONT]
[FONT="]We went to lunch.[/FONT]
[FONT="]But we didn't go where we normally would go.[/FONT]
[FONT="]She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table.[/FONT]
[FONT="]We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know,[/FONT]
[FONT="]It's such a beautiful day...[/FONT]
[FONT="]We don't need to go straight back to the office,[/FONT]
[FONT="]do we?[/FONT]
[FONT="]I responded, 'I guess not.[/FONT]
[FONT="]What do you have in mind ?'[/FONT]
[FONT="]She said,[/FONT]
[FONT="]'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner.'[/FONT]
[FONT="]After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,[/FONT]
[FONT="]' Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom[/FONT]
[FONT="]for just a moment.[/FONT]
[FONT="]I'll be right back.'[/FONT]
[FONT="]'Ok.' I nervously replied.[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes,[/FONT]
[FONT="]she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ...[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Followed by my wife,[/FONT]
[FONT="]my kids,[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]and dozens of my friends[/FONT]
[FONT="]and co-workers,[/FONT]
[FONT="]all singing 'Happy Birthday'.[/FONT]
[FONT="]And I just sat there...[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]On the couch...[/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT]
[FONT="]Naked.:holysheep:[/FONT]
My daughter sent me these, hope you enjoy...
[FONT="][/FONT]