Some Ha-ha, puts life into perspective...

[I'ma Joker Midnight Toker]

[FONT=&quot]Karma...[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]the red light by accelerating through the intersection.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]and dropping her cell phone as she braked to a halt.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]looked up into the face of a very serious police [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]He took her to the police station where she was searched,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]personal effects.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]of you, and cussing a blue streak at him." I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do'[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]emblem on the trunk; naturally...I assumed you had stolen the car."
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]:hitchair:
[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Why I fired my Secretary.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Last week was my birthday[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]and I didn't feel very well[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]waking up on that morning.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I went downstairs for breakfast[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]'Happy Birthday!',[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]and possibly have a small present for me.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]As it turned out, she barely said good morning,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]let alone ' Happy Birthday.'[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I thought...[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Well, that's marriage for you,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]but the kids... They will remember.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]and didn't say a word.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]and somewhat despondent.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]'Good Morning Boss, and by the way[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Happy Birthday ! '[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]just you and me.'[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I've heard all day.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Let's go !'[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]We went to lunch.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]But we didn't go where we normally would go.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]It's such a beautiful day...[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]We don't need to go straight back to the office,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]do we?’[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I responded, 'I guess not.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]What do you have in mind ?'[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]She said,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner.'[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]' Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]for just a moment.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I'll be right back.'[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]'Ok.' I nervously replied.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ...[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Followed by my wife,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]my kids,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]and dozens of my friends[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]and co-workers,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]all singing 'Happy Birthday'.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And I just sat there...[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]On the couch...[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Naked.:holysheep:[/FONT]



My daughter sent me these, hope you enjoy...
[FONT=&quot][/FONT]

 

[THE BROTHER'S GRUNT]

Thanks for the laugh mang. :aok: :rofl:

 

[Ekoostik_Hookah]

that last one was great...lol