Stoner Jokes

[Newbud]

"Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes, what do you want?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hidingmarijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They searchthe shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open everypiece of wood, butfind no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house. Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Happy Birthday, Buddy!"

 

[nvthis]

How many stoners does it take to screw in a light bulb?

 

[Newbud]

I dont know but i carn't find it anyway lol

 

[zipflip]

how many NV?

 

[Newbud]

:stoned: what lightbulb

 

[zipflip]

lol im waitin for a smart *** response like " how many wat to do wat again? lol

 

[wmmeyer]

How many stoners does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't think its possible to compute an accurate number, as the task has never been successfully accomplished.

 

[IRISH]

stoners don't screw in light bulbs , ( unless the 400w just fizzled out ), they screw in the ______ ( all the places you can imagine to fill in the blank).:hubba: . .

 

[nvthis]

how many NV?

Uhh, huh? Hey look, ice cream!

 

[IRISH]

:rofl:

 

[Newbud]

Who makes more money, a Drug Dealer or a Hooker?
A Hooker, because she can just wash her crack and use it again.

 

[Newbud]

A stoner walks into a gas station and asks the dude at the counter, "Got any weed?" The man politely replied, "Um, no sir. We do not sell marijuana here." So he left.
The same guy comes back the next day and says, "Got any weed?" The man behind the counter, although slightly annoyed, patiently replied, "No sir. We don't sell marijuana." So the man went home.

He goes once again to the gas station. And again, he says to the guy working there, "Got any weed?" By this time the other dude was pissed. He yells, "You freakin' refer-lovin', pot-head burn-out! I told you, we don't sell that stuff here! If you ever come back in here asking for that filthy rubish again, I'll nail your freaking feet to the floor. Got it? Now beat it before I call the cops." So the stoner left.

The next day he went back to the same old place with a dopey smile on his face. He went to the cashier and said, "Got any nails?" The man hesitated, then replied, "um, no sir, we don't sell nails here." The stoner grinned. "Got any weed?"

 

[phatpharmer]

Did you Here how Micheal Jackson Died?

He ate to many 7 yearold wieners!

A woman over 70 told me that one today!LOL

Phatpharmer

 

[Newbud]

LOL
I bet thats the first of many

 

[zipflip]

A stoner walks into a gas station and asks the dude at the counter, "Got any weed?" The man politely replied, "Um, no sir. We do not sell marijuana here." So he left.
The same guy comes back the next day and says, "Got any weed?" The man behind the counter, although slightly annoyed, patiently replied, "No sir. We don't sell marijuana." So the man went home.

He goes once again to the gas station. And again, he says to the guy working there, "Got any weed?" By this time the other dude was pissed. He yells, "You freakin' refer-lovin', pot-head burn-out! I told you, we don't sell that stuff here! If you ever come back in here asking for that filthy rubish again, I'll nail your freaking feet to the floor. Got it? Now beat it before I call the cops." So the stoner left.

The next day he went back to the same old place with a dopey smile on his face. He went to the cashier and said, "Got any nails?" The man hesitated, then replied, "um, no sir, we don't sell nails here." The stoner grinned. "Got any weed?"

hes a smart stoner. lol
i thought that was funny as hek NB

 

[gasman]

What,s a 80 year old lady taste like ?depends

 

[Newbud]

Granny smiths

 

[viper]

Q: whats the difference between a drunk and a stoner
A: a drunk drives thru the STOP SIGN ... a stoner waits for it to turn green

 

[Newbud]

Hahaha i like that

 

[Newbud]

The last one even made me cring a lil...

Confucious Quotes

Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time.
Man who stand on toilet high on pot.
Man who smoke pot choke on handle.
Man who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.
Man who have women on ground have piece on earth.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Take many nails to make a crib but one screw to fill it.
Man who go to bed with itchy bum wake up with sticky fingers.