Stoner Mistakes: The Anthology

[Chronic_420]

Like it sais, what are some of the funny mistakes you have made while stoned, i havent had many, my worst is this, and it means(for dumbasses) Stoner Mistakes: The collection

DAD: How was your day
ME: Hi
DAD: ummm,(awkward pause)
ME: Oh, im sorry, i meant to say yes.

 

[THCPezDispenser]

Lol

 

[Chronic_420]

well, got a story to contibute, thanks for thanking, i think lol

 

[Chronic_420]

another one,
MOM: Why are your eyes red
ME: Why are YOUR eyes red
MOM: What?
ME: What, what what
MOM: are you stoned?
ME: ya, a little
MOM: just make shure to keep your grades up

 

[headband]

me:sry officer i just pulled out of 711, forgot to turn on my headlights.
cop:so they work?
me:yes
cop:whats that smell?
me:what smell?
cop:smells like marijuana!!!
me:it probably is marijuana
cop:what do you mean?
me:let me explain...


hahaa on my way home from the so called pharmacy, for pot...

 

[Chronic_420]

ME:dad im home
CLERK: Ummm
ME:Where are you
CLERK:This is Marathon
ME:the gas station?
CLERK:Yes
ME:Mom wheres dad
CLERK: Were closed you stoner
ME:damn, now i gotta sleep outside again
(awkward silence ensues)

 

[THCPezDispenser]

Sorry Chronic, I did and went back to edit, and got distracted, LOL.

I used to play Risk a lot with a couple of friends. Of course we would burn one down before we would start, and we would really get into the strategy of the game, always thinking out our moves when not being attacked or attacking. More than once, I can remember these 15 minute pauses with everyone staring at the board, and of course someone would eventually ask "who's turn is it anyway?" LOL no one would remember.

 

[jomchimpo]

i was so stoned one time i dropped my pipe on the tile and it shattered and i just stared at it for ten minutes because i couldnt comprehend that it was gone(i had a long history with this one), also i have to admit i've made a few terrible driving mistakes, like turning the wrong way into traffic, yeah, i try to avoid mixing the two now

 

[LowRider]

I once let a GA State trooper search my car. i was toasted so i just said what came to me at the time the officer asked to search my car (Yes), i forgot i had the MJ under my seat. I had a 1/2oz under my seat. he did a quick search and didn't find it, or i think he didn't find it. i went straight home and toked up cause that was scary. i didn't think of it after the cop gave me a warning and let me go.

 

[longtimegrower]

I was rolling a j and my buddie goes through a yellow light saying turn red you parking$%^$smoker^&*. Cop pulles us over hehas to get out talk to the cop. The second cop comes up shines his light in the window atthe dash looks at the inspection sticker. Finally he lets us go. As we drive off i look up and pick up the oz thats been laying on the dash the whole time. Also back in the early 80`s if you were drunk and high and got stoped they would just either take you home or tell you to get you but home. One night i got pulled over and after 15 min they took me to jail. Teh next day im talking to my buddie.
Me: I got a dui last night
My buddie: They dont take you to jail for dui.
Me: I insisted.

 

[Firepower]

Mine is also the one embarassing moment of my whole life, to this day i remember and just start laughing histerically:

I was working for this club doing promotions and security, i have always like to be a dj but never bought equipment, just practiced at the clubs i worked at for fun, then one day the club manager asked me to dj a christmas party for this company, well the people are all past their 30 so it was a pretty adult crowd, so the night kicks off and slowly everyone is getting to the dance floor and having a great time, by this point i had taken a break and smoked some, well after that the music really got inside my head and as EVERYONE is dancing on the dance floor i start mixing songs in my head and all of a sudden stop the record playing and gave it 1 fast spin backwards, it took me a second to comprehend what i just did but by then it was too late, evryone had stopped dancing and was looking at me like ***???? memory goes blank after that!! thank god!! LOL..., :aok:

 

[0b1kinsmokey]

hahaha that first 1 was funny.

gosh too many to say r4eally lol.

most recently...

lost the keys at the grocery store on a sunday afternoon. thought i locked them in the car

looking for them, looking for them all over the place, couldnt find em, went in and out of the store multiple times for change for the pay phone

had to call triple AAA- they said it would be a 45 minute weight.

waited about an hour, got more change and claled AAA back. said it would be another 45 mins

meanwhile it started raining

2 hours later a tow truck guy pulls up to break into the car.

i get in, look aaallll over. dont see the keys. jump outa the car screamin in anger.

jam my hand in my pocket for my cigerettes.....keys are in the bottom of my pocket


lol

 

[Ekoostik_Hookah]

Mine is also the one embarassing moment of my whole life, to this day i remember and just start laughing histerically:

I was working for this club doing promotions and security, i have always like to be a dj but never bought equipment, just practiced at the clubs i worked at for fun, then one day the club manager asked me to dj a christmas party for this company, well the people are all past their 30 so it was a pretty adult crowd, so the night kicks off and slowly everyone is getting to the dance floor and having a great time, by this point i had taken a break and smoked some, well after that the music really got inside my head and as EVERYONE is dancing on the dance floor i start mixing songs in my head and all of a sudden stop the record playing and gave it 1 fast spin backwards, it took me a second to comprehend what i just did but by then it was too late, evryone had stopped dancing and was looking at me like ***???? memory goes blank after that!! thank god!! LOL..., :aok:

DUDE i dont know why that post made me laugh so hard!!!!!
Im still laughing.........
I was imagining the whole scene in my head.....then you said you spun the disc and i busted out laughing !!!!
I DJ on the weekends, soooo i know the sound a disc makes when its not a good scratchin disc.....which is funny as hell!!

I ride an R6 btw

 

[Chronic_420]

CEEP UM COMIN, i want this to be a VERY long thread

 

[Ekoostik_Hookah]

Im pritty sure i already posted my "bad stoner moment"

but long story short.....first or second time smoking......my buddy burned other buddies azz hair (lol)......i died laughing......was chewing chocolate........Spit up a wad of chewy chocolate right on to my buddies foot......He thought i puked on his foot from laughing so hard......( it was like my 2nd time meeting the kid)............he still thinks to this day; that i puked on his foot......

 

[Chronic_420]

come on, anyone?

 

[smotpoker]

Great thread!

I was at my buddy across the streets house after a long day of summer school one time. His family was very weed friendly (without my knowledge) but his parents were out of town. Me and my buddy are burning bowl after bowl. Found ourselves so stoned that we were watching Rocket Power the cartoon on Nickelodeon and bby the time the first commercial of a break would be half over neither of us could remember what we were watching. ANYWAYS.... Buddies uncle comes and knocks on the door, he answers. The uncle comes in and sits on a couch across from me. About that time I realize there is about a 1/4 ounce sitting on the couch next to me for a good minute and I freak out and try to snatch it quick as lightning and end up whacking the **** out of the bag, which I now find out was not sealed, and a 1/4 oz. goes flying all over the living room. The uncle just says "what the **** was that about?" and I have no idea what to say. Basically my friend and I just start cracking the **** up and he says "now what am I supposed to smoke?"

Felt like such a dumb ***.

 

[night501]

so it was like my 5th day at a new job as a cook and some of the guys i worked with said it was ok to toke at work so im all like "hell yeah!!!"
so im sitting there puffin on a big blunt and the boss walked into the kitchen.
now out of reflex i try to hide it by cupping it in the palm of my hand. the boss litteraly squeezes by me and im about to fall over cause this is a verry wide man. well i go to steady myself with the hand that has the blunt in it and the cherry gets ground into the palm of my hand.
i cry out in pain and turn around. the boss had a joint hanging from his lip and the blunt is in pieces on the floor.
at first i thought he was smoking a cigarette and i start to freak out, like my adrenaline starts going and whatnot. so i stand there stuttering and trying to think of something to say real quick when he pulls the joint from his mouth and hands it to me saying he was sorry.
i felt like a complete renob. i still have a scar in the center of the palm of my hand after 5 years.

 

[I'ma Joker Midnight Toker]

Smotpoker, wtach thta potyt motuh...
:holysheep:
No crappola (see Smotpoker, no swears), their I was, smoking away driving my car and I miss my exit, oh darn (see Smot), and gee the heck wiz (see Smot) I had to turn the ducky (see Smot) car around. So I turn around still high of course and drive right the mother rabbit aroused (see Smot) hare by the exit again...hmmm, then I should have just pulled over and drawn a map,... but I did get it the last turn around and found my way superFcaliUfragilCisticKexpiIaliNdociousG (see Smot) home...

 

[HippyInEngland]

This memory ive tried to forget for many years.....ok here goes....My girl comes back to my parents house with me after watching a movie and were both ripped, my lil sis is in the living room so we go into the kitchen, things get heavy, but nothing happens, after a while after my girl had gone I still had 3 legs (late teen with wild hormones) anyway, all the doors are closed so I stand and flick a quick one off in the kitchen, (I was in a different world at this point), I finished the job in hand and cleaned up, turned around and both my parents were standing in the kitchen behind me!!! :shocked: , they had come in from a night out and saw everything , Mom said what the hell were you doing? I said nothing Mom, I think I had spider or beetle in my pants, my Mom said isnt it time you stopped looking for it? (I looked down and my pecker was still hanging out LMAO), I sooo wished for a hole to appear so I could fall in it.