alcholic brother

[ytrew]

my very close younger bro 26 years old is a bad recovering alchoholic, cant get rid of the pain, and is really depressed, avoided all family. i finally got him to try it and we smoked and he didnt get high! is this possible, i gave him some good ****!

he came back tonight and did it again he looked a little but not much, he said he was just relaxed, he left and hit the titty bars!

our father and me were big drinkers but not like him!

about me.
i have about 2 alcholic drinks a month since finding mj!
no more panic attacks! No more zanax, klonopin, ambien cr etc. it's been great!
my marriage is better and relationship with my 2yr old son is better, i can see how much of an ******* I was! I didnt even know I was like that! my work consumed my life and not my family!

anyway, my father has severe back problems, multable surgeries and he's on morphine twice daily and numerous pain killers, relaxers etc. Doc says there nore more they can do, no more pills he can take. i want to take some mj to my dad but it would start a whole family load of problems if it got out. My dad wouldnt be mad at me but my mom would find out and so on. where do i go. my wife does not want me telling my dad or my mom! She has a close relationship to my mom.

any thoughts would be great!

 

[Oscar]

We have some alcoholics in our family too and let me tell you it's no walk in the park!

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad and if maybe, just maybe he might be interested in trying a vaporizer!

Your brother needs a support group. Maybe in-patient care, one thing for sure is if he asks for help, don't hesitate to try and talk him into`one of those groups to start. Tell him he'll meet alot of people there!

I feel for ya.

 

[THE BROTHER'S GRUNT]

What your brother needs is a quick 1 month stint in a rehab. In rehab they will teach him the tools he will need to survive on the outside without drinking. The first thing he needs to do is change people, places and things. He needs to change the people he hangs out with, places he hung out at, and things he used to do. By changing these 3 things alone it will be much easier for him to quit drinking along with going to AA meetings about every 2 or 3 days a week.

It's not easy to quit an addiction i'll be the first to tell ya that. I worked in a outpatient rehab and went to school for 3 years to be a Drug and Alcohol counsler.

 

[ytrew]

he did the aa for 45 days, and i know he is not drinking now, but he is still doing all the triggers, gambling, titty bars, etc. what got him to quit was an arrest at a tit bar for resisting and obstruction., he also lost his first real girlfriend. this kind of kicked him in the balls and now he wants to still party. i am worried he might go to harder things like coke. he tells me the strip club girls keep bugging him to try it.

 

[Mutt]

One of addicts worse kind of place...a strip club. Every known vice there bro.
Sex, drugs, alcohol, gambling, just to name a few. Might sound fun...but not when your an addict. Way too much $$$$ to flush down the commode there. Fun for bachelor parties and special guy occasions, but not a regular basis. IMHO

 

[THE BROTHER'S GRUNT]

Like i said before your brother needs to change PEOPLE, PLACES, THINGS. If he doesn't do these it's gonna be very hard for him to quit anything. Trust me mang going to the strip clubs is not the answer that is the problem.

 

[thedutchmaster3]

yea man TBG is right...I have an uncle who has been a drug addict for 35 years...The thing is ur brother has to want to help himself. No matter how much everyone else tries to help him, no matter how many rehabs he goes to, it will do nothing unless he truly wants to quit drinking and get his life in order...Im real sorry to hear about your brother man, and my prayers are with you and your family...I hope everything works out for you man...Peace

 

[SmokinMom]

The thing is ur brother has to want to help himself. No matter how much everyone else tries to help him, no matter how many rehabs he goes to, it will do nothing unless he truly wants to quit drinking and get his life in order.

I'be been wanting someone to bring that point up. No one can help him until he is ready to help himself. But I know how hard it is watching those we love hit rock bottom. Good luck to you and to your brother.

 

[HippyInEngland]

This is very difficult for me to 'out' this.
I was in this style of life for a long time, to my shame, far too long.
I saw my life ending many times in dreams, and woke in a sweat knowing if I hadn't woken at that point, it would have meant my death, it took still a few years to realise my addiction, it was more a kind of ignoring it, but inside knowing what I was doing was killing me.
I lost all things that meant the world to me, children, house and job, I met a place, a place where I was walking in London, it wasnt a physical place, it was my crossroads, if I took the road I was usually walking, it meant the gutter, I had 2 oppertunities to me, turn left or turn right, I chose the road away from my normal path and did cold turkey at first, I couldnt make it that way, I reverted back to heavy drinking as I was used to, a bottle of vodka and 2 bots of wine just till midday then hit the bars for more drink, this became a battle of trying to stop and failure, with shaking hands from being 'dry' for a week I planted and grew Mary, not for 'what I didnt understand at the time', but for searching for a kick I felt I needed trying to kick my addiction, what I found was a cure instead, I used to drink a bottle of vodka plus 2 bottles of wine plus 2 gallons of beer a day, every day, everyday of the week for more years than I care to admit, I would not be here if it were not for Mary, I now drink 1 bottle of beer every day or so, yes I admit i still like the taste of beer, but I now control it, it not me, I wrote a poem about my addiction ..........

my head spun as i thought of them
the usual spin i get
smiles and shouts of morning fun
had i woke up yet?

i begged i hadnt,i knew the day
smiles and evil desires
last out of bed with a fuzzy head
i always said that " i hate liars "

sleep ok i heard her say?
yes fine and did you too?
you snored and trembled in your sleep
with that look,saying,you always do

i lied my lie,busied myself
where i knew my sin did hide
losing my mind,and what i had
at this point,i lost my pride

she sang my name,i loved her dearly
she whispered all the time
*** she called "come find me now"
with my shakes it wasnt 'crime'

many of my years are lost to me
i listened to my addiction
take a warning i send you all
clean living is no affliction

ok,im no priest,and i flaunt the rules
im not here to preach to you
have fun what you do,max it well
dont wobble and take my road too

29 cities i named this poem
an odd name you may sit and think
it shows how your mind will change in time
when youve abused for tooo long with drink!

very personal poem, I read it often,

The poem below was written by me for my partner, she knew my past, I hid nothing from her, total honesty from the start I find best, no nasty hidden surprises, all is known.


A year has passed and shock i found
my life flew by
many thoughts leaving time a simple blur
~
an awakening long slow yet true
lifted the 3rd eyelid
i realised i had solidified my walking
~
i looked over my shoulder
i saw nothing to run from
i saw no wolves
~
no more quagmires and bog
no more focussing on me
but suddenly
i was focussing
and me
had become we

I guess what im saying here is, no one can make someone become clean, they have to find the turning point inside themselves.

 

[upinarms]

Ok, I'll admit that was a bit harsh. Sorry for that merciless post, If I kept this up here as it was. It would have eaten at me till I changed it. He's got to find something to believe in. It's good that you care for your brother I just don't want you to become too enveloped in his difficulties. I jumped the gun because of the Strip Club thing. I have a really good lady friend from high school that fell into the world of stripping, I remember walking in that hellish place to say hi to her. My best friend told me where she worked, by the way. When she saw me, she came down off the stage where she was working and embraced me. right then fear gripped me, as I knew that goodness was still inside her. despite the wickedness that was her world and the people who saw her as mere flesh. As I gazed around the room, eyes were on me and I thought who are these people who didn't know her as a human being, then I noticed her pseudo pimp in the corner. It hurt me to think that she was being treated with such carelessness. That was when I vowed not to ever go into any place like that again. I have negative feelings towards that whole scene..

 

[HippyInEngland]

Its an illness

 

[tcbud]

My brother also is an alcoholic, tho he does smoke pot also, alcohol is his MAJOR problem. He has lost every female relationship he has had because of booze, i beleive. Most of his friendships are formed from some sort of party time, he has never hit rock bottom, and probably never will. He controlls his use of alcohol enough that he never really loses things like his job, as he works for himself now, i guess that will never happen. His whole live revolves around booze, go to work, get off and drink.
I sure feel for you...what the grunt brothers said is real true, change helps so much dealing with addictions.
good luck

 

[HippyInEngland]

This is a very difficult topic to chat about, we all know lives that have been ruined.

 

[ytrew]

thanks everybody!

 

[Mutt]

This is a very difficult topic to chat about, we all know lives that have been ruined.

Yes, This is a tough subject.
I think ytrew had his questioned answered. These threads pop up every now and then. Dealt with. but then I close em so the original poster doesn't have to be reminded averytime they log on. It can be painful for some of our members. (me included)
If Ytrew wants the thread re-opened I will reopen it. Just shoot me a PM dude. but gonna get back to happier and more laid back conversation.
Great thread with good well thought out replies everyone. :aok:
but it is a sensitive thread, so time for it to fall back into the archives.