I am too wise... too wise for my own good as a young adult, at least. I study everything: every bit of news, every knowledge of textbook, every stranger's story, and every oddity to figure out. I have not yet reached the graduate level of the things I read except in Physics, but I believe that is because I have lost my drive and have slowed to nearly a halt.
I am still young and find my peers are so much younger. I have solved their problems by very often taking time and resources from myself to do so, yet all they do is ignore me in return. I am so damned gifted and so selfless, but not one person will think to how I came to be this way. Everyone just wants whatever helps them remain the same and prepares for death from the moment they reach high school, and I am losing my faith because of it.
I am losing my faith in humanity. It makes it harder to be the way I am without a single drop of success in someone I teach. I find it is harder to wake up with under 6 hours of sleep like I used to so I have more time in the day, it is so much more strenuous to stick to the tasks I set ahead of myself because I wonder what's the point, and I find myself constantly thinking of those that I failed to instill change within around me-- plotting how I can help despite my commitment to no longer waste time with them.
I keep thinking more and more that I am the only one, but I want the internet to prove me wrong. I want to find groups of people who have a drive for existence; who have a purpose higher than one's self. There are three qualities I never truly find in the same person other than myself, and trust me: I have nearly read through 1000 people on my travels. They are Logic, Open-Mindedness, and Drive.
Now this is the important part and I urge this with fervor: PLEASE DO NOT REPLY UNLESS YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE LESS THAN OR EQUAL TO ME. Pride is a fool's trait and too many try to impart their speakeasy knowledge in lieu of the idea that the one to whom they speak may be more intelligent, and I always see people of no purpose trying to impress themselves as a mentor of how to live in hypocrisy.
This means that you should only reply if you either believe you are the same as I: you try to constantly read and push yourself for the sake of learning your existence, you find everyone around you missing out on something, or you have a drive to live with logic and open-mindedness guiding it,
or if you believe you are less than me in some way that removes your pride.
I know I think I am less than everyone. Like, I used to be happy that I was smart, but it's bullshit how much easier life is to be comfortable. The main doctrine of how I teach myself is to never have or allow comfort. The term comfortable is nothing but the definition of being in a state you wish not to change and I always want to keep changing... but damn is it harder without any outside influence of hope or attaboy's
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I thought that type of response would come to me posting stuff without a care for who I insulted. I thank those of you who understood that
I think I am less than everyone
It seems they knew that maybe this man is talking about a higher level of thinking I don't quite understand.
Let me explain
To those that suggested army. Due to the ranking structure of the military being about pay grade and respect, every small-dicked who ra and big dicked ******* with a sense of undue respect needing to be heeded melt the upper-rank decision makers with witless kiss-asses. I have lived in Jacksonville, NC with several marines and sailor. My best friend from high school has seen what he got himself into and knows of the illogical bullshit that goes on.
I am not saying this as a biased person, this is simply what I have learned and witnessed via barfights with sergeants and good times with our boys in service.
To the man that said for me to get off the sheet I believe you are referring to me lying down and I am not. I have been going through natural America with my motorcycle and talked with strangers on my travels. I have been observing effects of drying conditions and creating dams to help certain rare biomes to survive. I have been cleaning up these forests and building things out of trash. I now travel the streams on my 300 hulled plastic HOBOAT. So this also goes toward the "get your nose out of a book" and treaing everybody without being holier than thou. IF EVERYONE TREATED ONE ANOTHER AS IF EQUAL TO OR LESS THAN THIS WORLD WOULD BE A UTOPIA. It is not at all indignant for me to suggest.
To the man that said I have rarely scratched the surface of knowledge of anything, I belive I can prove you quite wrong.
I can see how sub atomic particles are composed of 220 or so fundamental particles of hadrons, leptons and etc inside of forces created by bond that govern nuclear forces with a positive charge to the shells of electrons bound in waveform and on to the protocell forged from evaporating droplets containing hyrocarbon chains to form a tough yet divisible soap bubble with a code to copy itself, and on until we live in this society with evolutionary reward systems in our ventral tegmental area or the prefrontal medial bundle. These nervous connections with our world reward us with senses of saisfaction based on our ability to spread our influence and power through an ever higher rank to attain system. I can see how these reward responses are effected by drugs and alcohol so that people can distract themselves from attaining a self aware state in which they would change from this evolutionary beneficial position of living happily, *******, and having our kids adopt our ways of life. Which is why many adults feel so betrayed when the internet grabbed ahold of their youths to be this expansively interactive mass of consciousness that will be the future of our evolution as a society. The digital era of borg-esk assimilation into our computers.
I also see every new discovery made and thing to learn on the vast amount of scientific data within wikipedia and online journals.
The reason why I seem like a soap opera is because I became legally allowed to drink last month. I feel like every peer I meet and every adult I find will not be as self aware as I through my obsession of learning on a voluntary basis instead of sticking with curriculums for grades.
If that response does not shut every person that wants to give themselves that prideful quip of fleeting sensation to have life figured out away from wasting their time that is better spent in humility and progression, I guess I wasted my time
Pride is the worst thing for anyone to ever have. It is the main reason the world is as disassociated as it is today. But I know the internet will assimilate and fix it soon... it's just I want another person to talk with as we watch it all go down and seek enlightenment.
Last edited by priestofknowledge : 11-18-2008 at 10:41 PM.
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I know I said I would leave for a week, but I found myself in front of a computer for a while of free time and this site came to mind
you just don't get it do you.
I have loved another. There is a herding instinct developed by our ancestors to have rewards for certain behavior. Love is simply that feeling. I mean, do you think something that nearly everyone has done. It is not some beautiful supreme thing, it is a squirt of dopamine here and again with positive reinforcement to the behavior.
I have thought of this diversity. I see everyone for what they are. I can look at anyone's story and completely understand why they are the way they are. That is why I try to change them.
To equate my perspective to yours... I love everyone due to the beauty in our creation and this universe, so to let these loved ones die without ever understanding their place in the universe is heart-breaking. I do not want everyone to be like me; I want them to have a drive. Be a musician, a comedian, an entrepreneur, a teacher, or whatever... just do it with a drive for life. A good metaphor would be if your friend were doing heroine and being happy. Yes, he is happy in his life... but is it right?
Don't pursue money, love or power. That is what everyone loses their lives to. I am not saying to avoid them, but for them to not be your drive. Your drive should be music, poetry, knowledge, humanism, or anything as long as you have devotion to it. As long as you have progress.
So please stop replying with pride. Stop trying to argue against me and try to work with me. I am not being arrogant. I am not boasting, merely conveying information to another intelligent person that I am intelligent. That is me... I know I am unique. It's just that I know I should continue having devotion for my ways, but need some form of reinforcement beyond worldy things. I wish to meet another sentience to make me feel like I am not so completely alone. It is not love, but devotion. It is not pride, but immense humility.
I want to have proof of another being higher than me. I want to meet someone who I can feel envy for.
I am not at all some nerdy blowhard or egomaniac. I am very chill and assertive to all that I meet, but I refuse to do things like small talk. Whenever I engage in conversation-- I engage the other. There are no false barriers of fear, pride, lust, or societal constraint within my actions and it causes the average person to shy away from my speculative light. No one cares to remain with someone who pushes them in a way beyond worldly thought. No one wants to realize that they can never be comfortable again
I know I don't...
ostpicsworthless::**::**::**::**::**::headbang2::headbang2::headbang2::ccc:happy 420 everyone
