I don't hide who I am from anyone, period. Never have. It used to infuriate my mom. My family has known, or suspected, I smoke sinse I was around 16. My mother once told me "I know you're smoking that crap, but I'm not gonna waste my time following you around crabbing at you, but if you ever bring it into my home I'll break every bone in your body". I always figgured this was a fair understanding (I also knew she meant it , and would do it). the subject was dropped for years. When I got out of the millitary and opted to stay at my brothers house instead of hers, she was curious as to why. One night I was visiting at her house and it was like a lightbulb went on in her head. She looked at me and said "you still smoke that wacky weed, don't you?". When I told her yes, she did'nt say anything more about it untill I got ready to leave. Then she pops up with "You're welcome to move in as long as you don't smoke inside the house and you keep it outside, use the garage or garden house". It actually worked out really good. For the seven months I stayed at her house, if I was smoking in the garden house I would just leave the outside light on so she would'nt walk into something she did'nt approve of. It was just basic mutual respect. She knew I was'nt gonna' quit to please someone else, and I respected her right not to be arround it.
She has sinse descovered that all five of her children either do, or have smoked at some time.
In my oppinion being decietful severly limits the extent of any relationship.