My Best Friends Ex..wants to live with me ???

[Ekoostik_Hookah]

so my Best friend, of many years, girl friend; wants to come live with me.
her and my best friend, dated for like 4 years, then broke up about 3 months ago.
she was going to go move to a different place, but now were thinking she just moves here, with me, and we live together... .COM
me and her had alittle drunk incident once, and her boyfriend found out about it....he got over it, and we were cool.
My BF, says hes cool with her comming here....but if she comes here, i know that we will date each other, and sleep with each other.
i dont know what to do: me and her both know we are meant for each other, we have both secretly loved each other, since her and my BF started dating.
Its a weird position, and i want her here so bad, and so does she.
but what is this going to do to mine and my best friends relationship???
Im not dumb, i realize it will put a damper on my relationship with him,...i guess.

what should i do???
dont say go talk to a shrink.....

 

[akirahz]

Get a camera crew in there and start a reality tv sitcom hahah j/k bro -- We'll how long a friendship we talkin here? since childhood? Iffen that be the case i doubt it will affect it much, but ever ones different, you know him the best so how do you deeply feel he will react? Does he have a short fuse? is he violent and the jealous type? If you want to avoid it all-together just tell her no can do on the live together situation less you don't think you can pass it up that is, question is how much do you love her? And do you love him? See, im sure you don't love your friend in the same manner as you do her, which would seem to me that your love for her will overpower what you feel for your friend, but this is natural, only way of really knowing if you can't use your knowledge to characterize a educated scenario of how he might react is to play it out, give it a try.

 

[Mutt]

LOL you say BF looked like you were saying boyfreind...then realized best freind. :rofl:
Be honest 3 months is a little soon after them being together for 4 yrs. It will step on your freinds toes a bit. If he is your best freind then he should be able to get over it.
I would keep it at roomate level at first. If she up and moves in and you start up with her...could put you in a bad spot. Use the head on your shoulders if ya know what I mean.
just my 2bits

 

[umbra]

I don't envy you. This is a problem. A moral delema. But do you live your life to please others or to please yourself? There is no right or wrong. Ultimately, you will have to decide whether your happiness comes first.

 

[Puffin Afatty]

Go on Jerry Springer!!! Jer ry, Jer ry, Jer ry !!!!!

Good luck !!!

 

[SAHM318]

I read this last night and wanted to comment but I was tooo FREAAAAKING high to give any good advice or type anything at all for that matter.

Anyway, does your friend know you two feel this way about each other? If you talk to him would he get mad? First I agree with the saying bros before hos... not that she's a HO okay... So talk to your friend first and see what he thinks, and understand that he might get pissed...

Also, why is this girl asking you? Is there no one else she can turn to? OR is she using you? BECAUSE she knows you're in love w/ her? Girls are devious man! EVEN when they don't do it on purpose...

K that's my 2 cents I hope you and your buddy don't have a falling out. It's difficult when you lose a friendship over a female.

 

[Miss Lead]

lets just pretend for a sec that your Best Friend isn't in the picture and her and him never were together.

NOW - if you guys really love each other and are really meant to be with each other - your relationship (or what's to become of it) will wait moving in together. if you want her in the long term; living with her this soon could ruin that. she really should have her own place for at least 6 months. try dating her before living with her. get to know her on THAT level.

also, on her behalf, getting over a 4 year relationship takes a lot longer than 3 months. you don't want to become a 'rebound'. ya know?

conclusion: this scenario will not only give you and her better odds, but will keep your BF from having any sort of melt-downs.


either way, good luck with everything.

edited to add: if you don't take my advice TOTALLY do this:

Get a camera crew in there and start a reality tv sitcom

 

[Amsterdam]

You have to sit back and think whos more important girls come and go but so do friends you have to decide if he is one of those true life long friends that are hard to find or if she is that one in a million true love that you may never find again and if they are both that important to you just be honest with your boy and things will work it out just make sure if you choose the girl to make sure you dont push your friend to the back

Good Luck Amster

 

[HippyInEngland]

Sometimes clean breaks and fresh new starts are needed in life, you already know that deep inside this person is for you in all the correct ways, friends forgive when they realise your starting a new chapter in your life.

 

[Kupunakane]

Boy chases girl untill girl catches guy,

Screeeeeech, Lock up those wheels a minute. Lets take another angle on this moment.
Girl of 4 yrs to bf and now thay have been apart 3 months. She undoubtedly trips your furnace switch, and vice-versa, cool !!!
So you and her get together cause it's meant to be, and this isn't a case of just wanting to bump uglies. Now BF comes over with a bottle or two. Both get better for the drink, and "CARUMBA" !!! now it's turned around on you.
Will you get over it as well as your bf did ?
It is true that the fastest way to get over someone is in the arms of someone else, but I wonder if you might find yourself stepping into it ?
As it was so carefully said earlier, careful which head you think with.
By the way what will you do to honor her ? will you be a gentleman ?

smoke in peace
KingKahuuna

 

[King Bud]

If you have to ask.. then

Bros before hoes.

 

[Ekoostik_Hookah]

thanks for all the helpfill replys guys.
but its like this:
i have always lived by the bros b4 hoes rule....always.
but this instance is different, just because of the connection between me and this chick.

I met my Best friend dan, when i moved to a new and strange place in the 4th grade. If it werent for me knowing him, i would of never met the girl.
Im the one who hooked the 2 up, in the first place.

jsyk, her coming to be with me, isnt just a rebound...or away to make her get over my bestf. we have known, since they were dating...that WE wanted to be together.....we even said " if just some other time, someother place, some other world...we could be together".....
so now, they have broken up, and she wants me...and i want her....and my BF even said...go live with "me" for awhile......( he said to the girl, its ok " because he thinks im waaaay over her"). ....which isnt true.

the factor i really need to look at, is how much do these people mean to me....
Im going to go ahead and say my best friend name was Dan.
so back in the day, me and dan were great friends.....then he met the girl....then we all chilled together alot......THEN one day i found out my dad had cancer, and was going to die.......the sicker my father got...the less i started to see of dan....my best friend.
even once my dad died....i like never saw dan.....he wasnt there for me at all....he didnt even talk to.....or even try too.
so me being left alone...after my dad died....kinda split up me and dan.
during the time of my dads sickness and death, i became great friends with my current roomate....Drew.
Drew came to my dads funeral, and used to talk to me through hard times.
so me and drew moved to Here.........

so as it ends up...me and dan arent very tight best friends......me and Drew are.......and now that this girl, has broken up with dan....and has already moved out on her own......now she wants to move in with me.
she hardly even talks to my old best friend.....however.....we are all meeting up in canada for the new years....which will be strange, because the girl really wants to be with me....but doesnt want to show that infront of dan! ughh.

so in closing, me and dan, arent such great best friends....he lives 9 hours away. Me and the chick, are madly in love.....
I dont want to totally lose dan as a friend, but i dont want to lose the girl either......ALSO if she doesnt move here soon, shes going with plan A....and moving to AZ....which is on the other side of the states.
so i need to act soon.

 

[Dr.Dro]

Boys Before ***(TRUE)
Dro:cool2:

 

[SAHM318]

so ... she's uncomfortable showing affection to YOU in front of her EX? isn't that a little fishy? Unless I have feelings for an ex, I would not care about who I hook up w/ in front of him...

For Ex:

I had 5 BF my whole life, exBFs 1, 2, 3, I would hook up with anyone in front of them and not care... the 4th, I'm still in contact w/ and the last one is my baby's father, and I would not even flirt w/ a man in front of them... BUT that's just me...

 

[Ekoostik_Hookah]

Think with your head, and not the bald one.

dude, i could care less about sex, its about the love we have for each other.
I have women here too, that i dont give 2 craps about, that i can sleep with whenever....
i actully care for this girl.
and she doesnt want to show affection to me, in front of my BF, because hes my bestf.
aghhh

 

[Melissa]

hey E H you all ready know what ur gonna do !
so get on with it lol you said u have a special connection with her that doesnt happen that often
and for not showing affection in front of the ex she is quite right, it would be diss respectfull to your friendship with him,

i think you should get together and try it out after all if u dont try u will never know so call yer girl up and have her there for christmas

good luck

 

[SAHM318]

but you said he's your not so BF... anyway... things have a way of working themselves out, so think of what's best for your highest good and meditate on that, and when new year comes around, what ever feels most at harmony with your gut/soul, that's what you will end up doing. if you go against it, you'll regret it.

so... i'm not doubting your love... just hers (a little) sorry.

sending positive vibrations and clearing my negative ones

 

[Kupunakane]

Get Mr. Winky a rain coat

smoke in peace
KingKahuuna

 

[SmokinMom]

This is wrong on so many levels....

Find yourself a new lady.

 

[Ekoostik_Hookah]

thanks for busting my bubble mom...

to the rest of you, thanks for your comments, and it really helped me think this out.
Either way, shes moving here......and sahm, your right. we arent really such good friends anymore...... but i would still feel bad if i dated his ex..........Guess im gunna feel bad for while ...HARhahrhrhr