Beaten, battered, and bruised

[Reverend Willis]

Of course, tomorrow I'll be so sore I can't move. That's alright. I can sleep in and hopefully recover from my latest act of stupidity.

I knew I was gonna be sore but I didn't know how bruised. This is a big bruise on a big ass. I don't wanna post anything too personal that might identify me to the police... "Sarge, I'm gonna run this picture through the FBI ass files and see if we get a match." Yeah, copper, we got a match. My butt and your face.

 

[bmello]

Has the bruise started to yellow yet? Is it one cheek or both cheeks, or does it just spread across the whole ass?

 

[Reverend Willis]

Has the bruise started to yellow yet? Is it one cheek or both cheeks, or does it just spread across the whole ass?

Thank you for showing concern for my bruised ass. And your question about yellowing indicates you know your stuff about bruises. You're not a nurse are you? It is yellowing in the middle as the trapped blood pushes outward. And it's only a half-ass bruise - one-cheek only.
Are we really talking about my butt? We must truly be sad freaks of nature to have sunk so low (no pun intended) for conversational material. So, how are your cheeks? Are you a cheeky gal?

 

[bmello]

You know when I am at work is when I am on this forum and it helps break up the day and I need a good laugh every now and then throughout the day since I am not stoned when I am at work!!!

No, I am not a nurse, but as you already know I have been around the block a few times, so experience is my knowledge of this subject...and ass bruises are familiar to me! I think it is complementary of your ass that it is a topic of discussion, don't you think your ass deserves some recognition? You think about where your ass has been and then ask yourself if it deserves to be talked about...

 

[Stoney Bud]

You think about where your ass has been and then ask yourself if it deserves to be talked about...

Where has the Rev's ass been?.....No, I ain't goin there!

 

[bmello]

WE can ONLY imagine where his ass has been, and I am quite sure your ass can tell some amazing stories, too, Mr. Wizard!!!

 

[Reverend Willis]

You know when I am at work is when I am on this forum and it helps break up the day and I need a good laugh every now and then throughout the day since I am not stoned when I am at work!!!

No, I am not a nurse, but as you already know I have been around the block a few times, so experience is my knowledge of this subject...and ass bruises are familiar to me! I think it is complementary of your ass that it is a topic of discussion, don't you think your ass deserves some recognition? You think about where your ass has been and then ask yourself if it deserves to be talked about...

Well MzMello, may I call you Bea? OK, Bea, my favorite ex-wife used to say that... "I've been around the block a few times." In actuality, her odometer had turned over. She's still a great gal to this day.

I must be honest, my ass has received much recognition over the years. I began mooning as a child and have not totally given it up today. I'm a little slow on the "drop trou" I'll be competing in the Seniors Mooning Tour of LA (Lower Alabama) later this summer.
The vice-principal in high school was familiar with my ass because he paddled it 3 times a day. Plus, I was pretty bad about mooning in school as well. At one point, it was a crime to moon in California -- true, true, true -- and if convicted, you must register as a sex offender. So, I asked myself what would Benjamen Franklin have done. I suspect he would have done as I did and moved to a state that respects the time-honored tradition of mooning. Thank God this is still America where a man or woman can drop their drawers with pride and tell the world, "Here's my ass. Here's what I think about it. Pucker up."

SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH!

 

[bmello]

My, my, my, Rev, you have gotten around! I know about the law in california, but not from experience. I treasure my ass, not just anyone gets to see it but I am sure happy for you and your ass flapping in the wind whenever the mood strikes you! Good for you and God bless you.
Good advice from ole Ben, you know he was quite the partier and womanizer in his hey days, god love him...
By the by, didn't you get paddle by the nuns?

 

[Stoney Bud]

Hey Rev, I think Ms Mello may be right! I put your picture from the avatar into a photo enhancement program and a very shifty looking kid was looking back at me. I couldn almost read your lips....

"Hey! What the hell you lookin at?"


Hahahahahahaaha

 

[Reverend Willis]

Yep, Stoney. That's the same kid with "attitude."
"HEY! You talkin' to ME?
Someone has to keep the other kids straight.

 

[Reverend Willis]

My, my, my, Rev, you have gotten around!
>> I prefer to think I have maximized all opportunities for having fun and created happy occaisions and memories whenever possible.

I treasure my ass, not just anyone gets to see it but I am sure happy for you and your ass flapping in the wind whenever the mood strikes you!
>> The mood doesn't "strike" as often as it used to but there are circumstances where a good 'moon' fits the situation perfectly.

By the by, didn't you get paddle by the nuns?
>> No. They used the rulers on the back of my hand. You're not referring to the episode where they put lace around my shirt,are you?

 

[Hick]

this thread is assinine...

 

[Reverend Willis]

this thread is assinine...

I totally agree. It's a whole Buttload of crap.
Some folks might find it to be fantasstic.

 

[Stoney Bud]

I think I'm going to puke.

No ass in that!

Hahahahaha

 

[bmello]

Well Rev, you are pulling another funny LOL!!!

As for the nuns, yes you have actually brought up a bad memory of mine when I attended catholic school. I have never told anyone before, you are my first: In the 5th grade, I was very quietly saying some mean things to a girl that kept hounding me to fight her. The teacher came up from behind me, in front of the whole class, and spanked me on the butt! Boy I was mad!! It was a regular teacher and not a nun!!!! I had always thought that it was safe to have regular teachers and to watch out for the nuns, and that incident blew my theory. It is no wonder I dropped out of high school and it took me til way into my thirties to get my higher education, humm, something to think about or should I just go straight to the therapist?!!!!

 

[Hick]

Could I recommend my therapist?..Dr. Kevorkian

 

[Stoney Bud]

Could I recommend my therapist?..Dr. Kevorkian

I used to know a lot of people who knew him.

 

[Reverend Willis]

Could I recommend my therapist?..Dr. Kevorkian

Yes, yes. I'd be interested. I also have a Buy One, Get One Free coupon from Dr. Jack. He does make house calls, right? I mean after he gets out of the slammer. I hear he makes you totally relaxed. I've heard his therapy is to die for.

 

[bmello]

I used to know a lot of people who knew him.

Mr. Wizard are you serious or is this a pun?

 

[bmello]

Hey Rev, my motherly instincts are telling me to ask you how the bruise is? Gone yet? Still painful? Walking at all?