Beaten, battered, and bruised

[Reverend Willis]

Hey Rev, my motherly instincts are telling me to ask you how the bruise is? Gone yet? Still painful? Walking at all?

Hello Beatrice. Thanks for inquiring about my ass. The bruise is nearly gone. What is left behind (besides my ass) is that nasty jaundiced look. Walking hasn't been much of a problem but it is painful when I try to roll on that side in bed. The dog kicked me in her sleep the other night and it woke me immediately. However, all that crap aside, I'm feeling pretty damn good.
I was visiting with a friend this morning and we were talking about "roller skating" spills. He had a similar incident as mine several years back. The most painful part of the fall is how all the internal organs get jostled and jolted by the impact. He gave up skating after that. I hate to be a quitter but my lifelong dream of being in the Roller Derby looks like it was squashed between my ass and that hard floor the day I fell.
I have bared my soul and dropped my britches so everyone could be privvy to my intimate thoughts and bruised buttocks.
So, how's your ass? Tell us something about your ass we didn't know.

 

[Stoney Bud]

Mr. Wizard are you serious or is this a pun?

Hey Ms. Mello, I'm being a smart ass.

And you can call me Stoney. All the best people do!

Hahahahahaa

 

[Mutt]

I hate to change the flow of the conversation. but just wanted to say.
Hey Rev. You gave me and the ole lady the idea to take the youngest one roller skating for the first time. Yep, that little one was a wreck on them skates. As for me. I stayed very close to that wall. Came close to busting my arse a couple of times. hehehehe.
Just sayin thanks for posting this. We woulda never had the idea otherwise.

 

[Reverend Willis]

I hate to change the flow of the conversation. but just wanted to say.
Hey Rev. You gave me and the ole lady the idea to take the youngest one roller skating for the first time. Yep, that little one was a wreck on them skates. As for me. I stayed very close to that wall. Came close to busting my arse a couple of times. hehehehe.
Just sayin thanks for posting this. We woulda never had the idea otherwise.

Glad to hear you made it without crashing and burning, Mutt. Did you go for the inline skates or the ol' double wheeled variety?
What did the kid think about it?

 

[bmello]

I have bared my soul and dropped my britches so everyone could be privvy to my intimate thoughts and bruised buttocks.
So, how's your ass? Tell us something about your ass we didn't know.

You are a very good sport baring it all and giving Mutt an opportunity to try something with his family that is fun for all ages!!!

Tell about my ass? HMMM, well, in my day there was a lot of streaking but I never did, modesty got the best of me, not that I didn't like to have fun!!! I was usually the get-away driver, always was the "behind the scenes" person. I had a girlfriend whose brother was a maniac driver and would go up to over 100 mph anytime he found the chance. This guy had totaled every car he drove, his, his dad's, his brother's, his friends...whenever he let us ride with him it was usually in the back of the truck, man I never dared to stick anything out of the back of that truck for fear of falling out, and you never knew when he was going to punch it, one girl did fall out of the back and landed on her head, she was ok though!!!

I told you about my "spanking" from the teacher, I think I have forgotten alot of stuff I did...loss of memory due to old age!!! My dad would whoop our asses when we got into trouble, and since I grew up in an all boys neighborhood, I had to learn to protect my ass from getting it beat, and so I learned to scrap good. My dad would always say if you can't win, just make sure you take a piece with you, and I did!!!

I think I have bared my ass, hope it was as good for you as it was good for me!!!

 

[bmello]

Hey Ms. Mello, I'm being a smart ass.

And you can call me Stoney. All the best people do!

Hahahahahaa

Why thank you Stoney, I feel privledge now!!!

 

[Stoney Bud]

I think I have bared my ass, hope it was as good for you as it was good for me!

Man, I need a ciggerette after that!

Wait! I don't smoke them.

I'll have a joint!

 

[bmello]

Funny you mentioned cigarettes and pot together, have a little story...when I was 17, the bong epidemic was just beginning. My friends and I were getting into it big time, collecting as many as we could...sizes shapes, materials. I decided I wanted to be the best one-hitter but there were a few guys too good to beat so I became the best girl one-hitter, and how did I do it, practiced alot and I stopped smoking cigarettes, the one-hits got easier as my lungs expanded so I could take it all in...couldn't do it now, wish I could, have been shopping for the right bong to work with...