Corny jokes

[Iams]

Did you hear Doans back ache pills and Viagra are working together on a new pill?

Its for helping your back to not peter out and your peter to not back out.:hubba:

 

[Danbridge]

Q: How many stoners does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. You know why? ....oh wow you mean the light bulb is out?

 

[Classic]

All the waterfowl kept their eyes closed except for one. He was a Peking Duck.

 

[docfr8]

: Whats Darth Vader's wife's name?????



Ela-vader

:vap-leafy_wave

 

[SmokinMom]

I asked god for a bike but I know he doesnt work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Why don’t aliens eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

What do you call an Irish man who sits out all night in the garden?
Paddy O’Furniture.

 

[YYZ Skinhead]

Why would Effexor, Prozac, Demerol and dextromethorphan have prevented communism in China?

They are MAO inhibitors.

 

[Marsrover1]

Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

Don't leand people money it gives them amnesia.

 

[SmokinMom]

I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

 

[YYZ Skinhead]

First Bob Hope died, then Johnny Cash died, then Steve Jobs died. Now we have no Jobs, no Cash and no Hope.

 

[7greeneyes]

whuh whuuuh....yyz:rofl:

here's a corny bit of blue humor ....iffy joke

A corn cob, a pickle and a male phallice were talking about their awful lives.

The corn cob said my life sucks, when i get big and fat they cut me up and cook me.

The pickle said when I get big and fat they cover me in vinegar & throw me in a jar.

The male phallice said, when I get big and fat they pull a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark, damp room and bang my head against the wall till I throw up and pass out!

 

[SmokinMom]

bad 7! lmfao.

--

Ive been charged with murder for killing a man with sand paper.I only intended too rough him up a bit.

 

[OldDaddyFedder]

Papa mole,Mama mole and baby mole all went for a walk one day. Papa mole was out front followed by Mama mole, then little baby mole.
As they cleared the top of a hill, Papa mole suddenly stopped and sniffed the air. "I smell Barbecue ribs and hamburgers" said Papa mole."I smell potato salad and baked beans" said Mama mole. "Thats funny" said baby mole "All I smell is molasses".

:48:

ODF

 

[SmokinMom]

What's Mary short for?

She has no legs.

 

[SmokinMom]

Broken pencils are Pointless.

:giggle:

 

[Irish]

what kind of rooms have no walls?

mushrooms...

 

[YYZ Skinhead]

What wsa Steve Jobs's fav fruit?

Cantaloupe.

 

[SmokinMom]

I'm slow and don't get that one.

--

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, 'I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!'


'IMPOSSIBLE !' said the groom broom.


(Are you ready for this?)





'WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!' :spit:

 

[Irish]

on a cold, cold night, two bulls are standing in a field. one says, ''boy it's mighty cold out here''. the other says, ''yes, i think i might slip into a nice jersey''...

why do you need a drivers license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

and does a steam roller really roll steam?

 

[YYZ Skinhead]

What is found both on a pool table and in a man's trousers?





Pockets.

 

[Leonardo De Garden]

A rope walks into a bar...
goes up to the bartender, and says' "can I order a drink".
The bartender says "No, we don't serve ropes here".
So the rope leaves the bar, and while he's outside he gets angry about the prejudice. He works himself up over it, and twists and turns and pulls at his ends and tugs at his hair. Then he storms back into the bar.
"Barkeep, I want a drink".
The barkeep looks him over and says "We don't serve rope here, are you a rope?"

To which of course the rope responded "I'm a frayed knot. Give me the drink."