Sorry to hear your bad news but it sounds like it was relief in the end, you need to realise you were a lot luckier than some people, you were given time to get to know and love him, both my parents died in 1980 in an auto crash when i was 17, i was still a kid, i never really got to know my parents as a mature adult, they were simply mum and dad.....remember this.....
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.