I always felt there was this peaceful person inside of me and that is who I really am, not the raging lunatic that sometimes emerged during catastrophic events, like say, my hubby dropping a bottle of ketchup.
I suggest taking control of your shrink ...not the other way around. You are being treated for ADHD, closely related to some mood disorders. Is that a correct diagnosis? Who knows. But one of your concerns is if I am hearing you correctly, anger that you can not stop. So tell your shrink how severely that is impacting your life and start keeping a "mood" diary. Track how well you are sleeping and how you are feeling etc.
Did you know that most people that suffer from mood disorders self medicate? If it is biological, (like ADHD and it's related disorders), the CORRECT medications in the right dosages can be a lifesaver. If it is not biological, the right "guidance" through behavior modification can work wonders.
My recommendation is get off of all other drugs, and start having your shrink treat the problems that are issues for you. Do research on the drugs they prescribe for side effects, go to websites for people with the same problems and read their experiences with the drugs they are placed on.
Once you are sure you are properly diagnosed and stabilized, through drugs and/or behavior modification techniques, whichever is called for (maybe both), then you can see how weed does or does not impact you.
I am today free from the "rolling anger" that marked my life and relationships for so many years and believe me my husband thanks my shrink every day (lol). Mine is a chemical imbalance and I do take prescribed meds that my shrink and I came up with together. To some degree finding the right medications for this type of issue is a series of experiments and it may take a few before the right ones are found.
Since you don't know if weed makes you mellow long term or if it aggravates the situation, get off of it until you get your anger issues under control.
Good luck.
eace:
