Well, Pilgrim... As I cannot legally inform you over the Internet of the details of The Secret Of Unendurable Pleasure Indefinitely Prolonged
, [<-- Link] I will give you the very next best thing: the sekrit of ultra-delicious clam chowder (to my knowledge, prolly only known to 90% of Long Islanders and most Michelen 5-Star chefs).
First, just as you can buy a whole chicken in a can, you can get clam chowder in a can.
They are on a par with the Real Thing. So you make some clam chowder. I wonder if there's clams near Denver...
HERE COMETH THE THEEKRET: When you serve it
, put one shot of Triple Sec in the bowl of chowder.