Kids!!!!!!!

[pussum]

So a few of you may know that I have my fiance's niece and nephew over for an "extended" stay along with their mother as mom and dad go through a divorce. Well, mom doesn't do **** to keep these kids in line, and unless my fiance and I are home the kids run a muck through the house all day. Yesterday I came home to find our four thousand dollar television now has blue wavey spots in the left corner of the screen and the off button changes the viewing mode instead of shutting it down, the walls I spent 20 hours painting and detailing have been scratched all to ****, my ps2 cover was cracked and ripped off, my 250 dollar reciever for the surround had pop spilled all over it, my xbox 360 had pop spilled all over it and all MY dvd's have been scattered from one end of the room to the other and about half of them scratched to the point where they don't even play anymore.

Now these kids listen to me and my girl. When I tell them they need to pick up their mess they do, and when I tell them they need to do something while I am at work they do, but when mom says anything to them they don't listen. I told mom to tell them to stop draging all my **** out and ruining it, but they did it anyway until I jumped in on them. My question for all you mom's and dad's out there is what can I do? I have no experience with kids of my own let along kids age 9 and 10 who won't listen to mom, but listen to me. The kids are good kids, and for the most part it is just them being un-attended to kids. They are polite and respectful to us, but I really don't give a **** about that. I want my stuff to be secure and I want them to listen to their mom when we are gone.

I already know what most of you are going to say, something about how it is their mom's job to control them and blah blah blah, well that **** isn't working and my collateral damage bill is getting higher each day.

 

[Hick]

"fiance's" sister needs a serious "timeout"...
from what I see, the kids are not the problem.
I'd lay it on the line...hundreds/thousands of $$ damage to "MY" property would cease very promptly. Call it "Tough love", just plain cruel, whatever...that woman doesn't deserve a nice roof over her head, if that is the respect she gives.
She'd be kickin' rocks down the side of the road in a heartbeat.
..at risk of sounding like I condone abuse...maybe her o' man was tired of similar scenario.

 

[Stoney Bud]

It's a matter of respect. That's all.

As long as they are in YOUR home, respect should be shown AT ALL TIMES. Respect isn't something you turn off and on like a light.

I would sit down with your lady, her sister and both children and make this very clear to them.

Frankly, I would have done this at the first sign of disrespect to your home.

They need the "My way or the highway" speech.

I would also make a list of damage already done and tell her that the cost of this damage needs to be paid by her. If not now, then later.

There is no excuse what-so-ever for obvious disrespect, and you should not have to shoulder the costs of the damage that disrespect has caused.

Fair is fair.

 

[cyberquest]

no kidding hick! the problem is not the kids its the parents. sounds to me that she has left one thing out of parenting, its a little old school and mostly frowned apon now a days but nothing like going old school on some brats.

what is the old school way you ask? A GOOD OLD FASHION DOWN TO EARTH *** WIPPING! my son will push my buttons till the point i stand up, at that point he knows he lost the battle.

most kids that act bad for their parents comes from them not getting attention from them, there is a thing called respect, if the parents have no respect for the children then the children will have no respect for the parents.

didnt you mention in another post that the whole reason this person was there was because of troubles with her and her spouse? do think this might be directly related to the way the kids act? i know i have broken things off with girls i have dated soley based on the fact i couldnt STAND to be around their kids and i didnt want my son to pick up their bad habits.

lilke hick said man its "tough love" for the parent! you need to lay the law down now! if she cant make her kids respect your personal stuff then she has no right to stay under your roof!

the sad thing is it wont effect her any, it will effect the poor kids, once again.

i wish you the best of luck man thats a tough situation to be in.

 

[Smokin' Stang]

Holy **** dude if someone did that to my 360 i would be livid!!!!!

 

[pussum]

Thanks guys, I just wanted a little assurance that I am going to be doing the right thing. I am not going to kick her or the kids out. I love them kids. Like I said when they are with me, they are good kids. I would even go so far as to say great kids. It just when mom is in charge they run amuck all day. Mom and me will be having a talk later today when I get home about what I expect to be done. She got some notification in the mail that if she doesn't get the kids in school in the next two weeks she will be going to jail so I think that will solve my problems of them being unattended to once they are back in the swing of things.

I have compassion for her situation, but like you all said respect is respect is respect. Really though, I didn't notice that they had made the mess because I didn't go downstairs to the den for about a week or so, so it all hit me at once making the situation look worse than what it was. Regardless though I will be taking the matter into my own hands today. Kids and mom will be cleaning. I don't expect to be payed back but I will get my monies worth out of her one way or another.

 

[cyberquest]

and if all your sensible reasoning doesnt work, maybe its MOM that needs to go out back to the shed!

one of the girls i dated kids acted the same way, good around me bad around her and tore up the house. thru my clever mind, and a little sneaky video recording i found out exactly why they acted this way, soon as i would leave for work she would get on the computer, and was there all day, never once did you see her pay any attention to the kids, so they just did whatever they wanted to. but under the guidence of myself, someone that would sit and color with them, and play games and do other kids stuff they acted like angels.

 

[Brouli]

tell momy that you waithing on a some cash after divorce ) but if they were raise that way you can do that much,
you can yeild on mom
or bit tha s**** of those kids when they stop to listen to you.



thanks i never had problem like this my patience is wery short

 

[krime13]

Hey how bout kicking mom out and making her pay for a babysitter...
Maybe you shouldnt listen to me ,my kids thrashing my house as Im writing this ,but we will have "cleanup time later" .

 

[pussum]

Haha, we have clean up time when I get home every day so that isn't the issue. Like I said though, mom and I will be talking later.

 

[Bojok]

Beating kids gets you no where.....................Either on you or the mother's behalf........ You need to sit and reason with the kids. Get on there level. By beating kids you develop fear in kids. Something a adult does not need to establish. There already bigger than the child. Timeouts and lots of explanation would help your problem. The problem as stated above is with there parents. There mother needs to respect your house and everything will stop........................

 

[Smokin' Stang]

Beating kids gets you no where.....................

I totally dissagree with this...

I got my *** whooped by my mom and pops plenty growing up..i feared HIM.

If I was was misbehaving and was told to stop and didnt...i got a backhand Same with any bad reports from school being teachers or grades.


And i thank my dad everyday for it. Ive grown up to be a very well manord person IMO


If anything not beating your kids turns em into ignorant little ***** lol...Im not talking beating the **** out of a kid over spilt milk or anything.. But i got plenty of "spankings" growing up. Some with the belt haha

 

[pussum]

I think it is more of a "you need to know what level of force to use" type thing. If you're ten year old son goes out and beats the crap out of a girl in his class sitting him down and calmly talking at first isn't going to do anything more than show him that hitting a girl isn't as bad as everyone says, but if you whoop his *** and place upon him the gravity of what he did and then go back and sit him down and talk I think it shows him a little better what he has done and what he should never do again. If your son calls another kid a name in school then it is time to sit him down and explain things out, not beat his butt.

It just really depends on the crime. Full force *** beatings don't always solve anything, but damn do they get your attention quickly.

 

[cyberquest]

yes they do, and anytime i give my son pyshical disippline its always followed by a talk of "why" he recieved it. usually i just give him one good "sting" and its enough to get my point across and get his attention real fast.

we all got beatings, i only got mine under "much needed" circumstances, i cant ever remember when i got one layed on me that i didnt FULLY desearve.

except maybe the one that the state gave me for 5 years.

 

[Smokin' Stang]

we all got beatings, i only got mine under "much needed" circumstances, i cant ever remember when i got one layed on me that i didnt FULLY desearve.

So true...

I dont think my dad ever laid a hand on me past 8-9 years old, because i learned to know better

My dad allways explained and talked to me after also....And i agree that i never got one i didnt deserve..

Had i spilled soda on my dad's coleco i would have been sore for a week. Do these kids have any sort of father figure in their life?

 

[pussum]

The kids are really half brother and half sister. They each have different fathers and their mom isn't really the best role model so for a good portion of their life any man that stayed in her life for more than two months she made the kids call him dad. Once he split she finally suckered one into putting a ring on her finger. He even went so far as adopting the kids legally as his own. They called him dad and he was a pretty decent guy until he found out she was cheating on him and he started to take things out on the kids a little bit more.

 

[Smokin' Stang]

Damn man sounds like they have had it pretty rough

But they definitly understand who's boss and thats YOU man

Hope that things turn around for the better man. Any idea how lo9ng they will be staying?

 

[cyberquest]

DING DING DING , and we have a winner! no wonder them poor kids are hellians!
poor kids.

 

[Smokin' Stang]

So i need an update on the TV as i'm an electronics nut...

Did ya fix it? Whats up with the blue waves?

 

[pussum]

Well they will be staying long enough for mom to get her **** together. I refuse to let those kids leave my house until I know that they have a place to go, but that doesn't mean I am going to let mama just sit on her *** all day and make no attempt to find her own place. As far as the TV goes, I unplugged it last night and that seemed to cut it down quite a bit. Tonight I am going to move all the speakers away from it and hope that it was caused from the magnet on the back of the center channel as it was sitting on top of the tv in a center speaker stand.