The Morning Wake N' Bake @ MP - WE LIGHT UP YOUR LIFE

[Cam]

Morning folks, hope everyone had a great week-end. I first wanted to let you know that we here at the WnB, will be using the same thread every day now instead of a new thread every day, so as it "pops" up each day, please check it out for new daily material. Same great daily fun, ONE new thread:hubba: .

Before we get into the fun, I must post an article that I wrote about the WnB and it's conception. I have already posted it once at the WnB, so please read it if you have not,..and if you have..scroll down and enjoy...I must thank two members, without whom my little morning column would have never come to be. "Dubbaman and TheBrothersGrunt". It was durring my post "HIGH", we were talking and "TheBrothers" said something about..welcome to the morning wake n bake at MP, ..then later "Dubba" said...what a good idea for a morning show. AND THATS HOW IT CAME TO BE !!

Welcome to The Morning Wake N' Bake @ MP for Monday November 12, 2007

To err is human, to spark up divine:bong2: ....

Pot will get you through times with no money:baby: , better then money will get you through times with no pot...:chuck: .

These 2 guys are chatting: Guy One: "I love to smoke hash." Guy Two: "Yea me too, but I heard it causes short term memory loss." Guy One: "I've never seemed to have any problem with that." Guy Two: "A problem with what?:ignore: "

This is a story to tell someone when they're high:
Ladies and gentlemen, I stand before you to stand behind you to tell you something I know nothing about. Thursday, which is Good friday, we're having a Father's Day party for mother's only. Admission is free, pay at the door, pull out a chair and sit on the floor.:holysheep: :holysheep:


Stoner good fortune: When you are cleaning your room and find some hooch you forgot about.


Stoner Pick-up Line: Hey i have a 9 inch joint.
You might be a stoner if your bong gets washed more than your dishes.


There is a thin line between love and hate. Its starts about halfway through the joint.


Reality is an illusion caused by the lack of good pot.

Now, to end the show on this Monday, If the jokes and stories didn't make you laugh enough, here are some pics that are sure too....hey, Can you tell which one is the game I'm going to get my next-door neighbor's brat kids for Christmas ?

Peace Love and Tie Dye,
Cam

 

[lyfr]

tbg,dubba,.......cam, i wondered how it came about. kudo's to the three of you for brainstormin up a great idea.....
now,tell this to a high someone....I know you believe you understand what you think i said, but im not sure you realize that what you heard is not what i meant. happy trails

 

[Cam]

tbg,dubba,.......cam, i wondered how it came about. kudo's to the three of you for brainstormin up a great idea.....
happy trails

Thanks,
Well, honestly..tbg & dubba came up with the name :aok: and I thought it was so cool, I just had to run with it:dancing: . But the bottom line is I love bringing good conversation and good fun to peoples lives and I hope that I've been accomplishing that:clap: :48: :welcome: eace: .

Peace, Love and Tie Dye,
Cam

 

[lyfr]

there's nuttin better than bein responsible for someone elses smile!!

 

[Cam]

there's nuttin better than bein responsible for someone elses smile!!

Right-On My Friend !!!:yay: :banana: :aok: :smoke1: :clap:

Peace, Love and Tie Dye,
Cam

 

[Cam]

Welcome To The Morning Wake N' Bake @ MP For Tuesday November 13, 2007​

Good Morning Sunshine , glad to have you with us today.​

"You could be a Redneck "......I don't think so, more like "You could be a Stoner" ​

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A STONER WHEN..... (45 reasons)​

--Every story you tell begins with, "We were really high and..."​

--You buy your Visine (eye-drops) at a wholesale club
--You're a Bob Marley fan and you don't even like reggae
- Mosquitoes get a buzz after attacking you.:fly:
--Someone asks you for a dime and you tell them you're out of herb​

--The High Times centerfold turns you on:heart:​

--Every vacation you wind up in Amsterdam or Jamaica:beatnik:

--Your friends call you Smokey

--Your parents call you Smokey
--Smoking resi on a daily basis is essential to keep your bowl from getting clogged
--Your cigarette gets way too heavy
--You think everyone is staring at you and there's nobody in the room
--All you want to do is drink & smoke & eat & smoke & chill & smoke...
--Your room turns into your grow room:watchplant:
--The lab technician testing your urine sample gets high off the fumes
--Your best friend just happens to be your dealer
--You vote Harry Browne for president
--A friend without weed is a friend in need
--Your bumper sticker reads "Honk for Hemp"
--Someone finds a roach in your room, it's not a bad thing
--Your bong becomes an extension of your arm
--You went to a Hempfest
--You can't remember the Hempfest
--Your video collection consists of endless Cheech and Chong sequels
--Your too phoned to stone home
--Your creativity is only used when you have nothing to smoke out of
--You can ask for weed in other languages
--The mind is a terrible thing to waste, but you don't mind being wasted
--Sorting out life's problems, the answer is always roll, lick and smoke
--You want to have kids named Herb, Bud and MaryJane
--You were born caucasian but all your friends assume you're Chinese
--Your clothes are full of burnholes from dropped joints
--You learn about the KGB in history class and all you can think about are green sticky buds
--If an autobiography of your life was made into a movie, it would be called "Waiting to Inhale"
--You own too many pairs of Birkenstocks
--Breakfast consists of a spliff, some OJ, and a bowl packed with Fruity Pebbles
--You smoke your screens and save your roaches
--You clean out your car and smoke the shake you found on your car mats
--You forget your friends' names
--You forget your own name
--Your motto in life is "Why ask Why? Just Get High"
--You call people you don't even like to hang out with, just because you know they've got buds
--You roll your blunts fatter than your 40oz
--You begin hearing knocks at the door and CD skips that aren't there
--You find yourself in the kitchen eating everything but Spam...then you eat the Spam
AND THE FINAL REASON YOU KNOW YOU'RE A STONER...
When you have to hold onto the grass to keep from falling off the earth.​

​

So, ...think you're a stoner. I hope so :hubba: ​

No, so you think you're a WISE GUY then eh.....well then "Happy Birthday"​

"Hello, is this the FBI?" ​

"Yes, what do you want?" ​

"I'm calling to report my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! ​

He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house.
They searchthe shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they bust open everypiece of wood, butfind no marijuana.
They swore at Billy Bob and left.
The phone rings at Billy Bob's house.
Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Happy Birthday, Buddy!" :rofl: ​

Ever go into a convenience store stoned to get munchies, or into a convenience store in the city to buy your stash. This guy can't remember which one of the two his objective is....​

Some stoned dude walks into the 7-11.
He goes up to the man behind the counter and says "got any weed?"
He says "no!" So the stoner leaves.
The stoner comes back, and asks the guy behind the counter "Hey you got any weed?"
The man says "No I told you yesterday, we don't sell weed here." So the Stoner leaves again.
The stoner walks in the next day and says "Got any weed?"
The clerk behind the counter says, "Look you burnout we don't sell weed here, if you come in here again, I'm going to nail your teeth to the floor!!!!" So the stoner leaves.
He comes in the next day. "You got any nails?" :holysheep:
"No", the clerk replies.
The stoner looks at him in the eyes and says,
"You got any weed?" :rofl:​

Well, I hope you enjoyed our little "pick-me-up" this morning, check back for additions to the humor throughout the day:48:, and until tomorrows show, here are some pics that I think you just might find amuzing. ​

Peace Love and Tie Dye,
Cam​

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[Dubbaman]

Man what a night i could swear that Bert,Ernie,and i were all out back playing beat the bong, but for some reason now i cant find my bong. Thanks to Cam for filling me in on where it went them 2 are still out back with it. Great Pics man :rofl: :bong1:

 

[Cam]

Mornin' again folks. I thought that this Q&A Joke String Was Pretty Amuzing, Hope You Do Too.​

Peace, Love and Tie Dye,
Cam​

Q.What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale?

A. Mr. President.​

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Q. What do you call a bud smoker with two spliffs?

A. Double Jointed.​

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Q. What do you call someone who smokes up every day at 4:21?

A. chronically late.​

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The Pot Paradox:

An empty bowl needs to be filled, a full bowl needs to be emptied!!!​

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Q. What do you call a stoner in a room full of nude supermodels?

A. Passed out & Dreaming.​

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Q. How do you hide money from a hippie?

A. Put it under the soap!​

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Q. What do you call a group of blondes standing around in a circle?

A. A Dope Ring​

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Q. How do fish get stoned?

A. SeaWeed.​

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Q. What's smokey and sounds like a bell ?

A. BONG!​

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Q. What do you call two pairs of stoners having sex?

A. Baked lays.​

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Q. What do you call it when a stoner spills his stash on the floor?

A. Drug abuse.​

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Q. What do call a pothead that smokes a joint from the wrong end?

A. Stoned.​

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[Cam]

You folks are so great, laughing, and listening along with us. Does anybody have any funny stories, jokes, pics that you'd like to share with us, we'd LOVE to hear from you.

Peace, Love and Tie Dye,
Cam

 

[octobong007]

A stoner and drunk were walking down a hill. The drunk said, "I think I'm gonna pretend I'm a bottle and just roll down the hill so he did it the stoner thought for a minute then rolled down the hill when he got to the bottom he seen the drunk was in pieces on the ground so he walked over to him the drunk looks up and says how did you make it without getting hurt the stoner said I pretended I was a joint!

Q: Why is the roach clip called a roach clip?
A: Because pot holder was taken

How many stoners does it take to change a light bulb? - F*ck it.... the light was too bright anyway

How do u circumcise a hillbilly - Kick his sister in the jaw!!

How many potheads does it take to change a light bulb? - Two: One to hold the bulb against the socket, and the other to smoke up until the room starts spinning

what's the differance between a stoner and a drunk
the drunk runs the stop sign a stoner waits for it to change

there's a couple, that was too much work man, now i gotta become CAPTAINNNNN BLAZE ALOTTTT:bong2:

 

[Cam]

Hey Octo,
Those were great. Thank you for contributing to our little show. I really appreciate it when others join in on the fun.

Peace, Love and Tie Dye,
Cam

 

[Cam]

Welcome to The Morning Wake N' Bake @ MP For Wednesday November 14, 2007​

Aerobics.....I don't think so, well maybe......​

POT AEROBICS CLASS​

Roll it. Light it.​

Breathe together now.
Inhale. Hold it.​

And three -- and two -- and one.​

Exhale. Control that coughing.

Big happy smiles, boys!

Hold your tummies in.
OK, all together now...
Breathe deeply.
Inhale. Hold it.
And three -- and two -- and one.
Exhale. Control that coughing, Bob.
Big smiles. Be happy!
Release that tension.
Now you've done it!
You're stoned -- on dope.
OK, let's take it from the top.
Chests out. Tummies in.
Breathe together now.
Inhale. Hold it.
And three -- and two -- and one! ​

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I KNEW That There Was A Reason For My Love Of Chocolate....This is a quote, from Matt Lauer on NBC's Today Show.​

"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can''t remember what they are." said by Matt Lauer on NBC''s Today Show​

Now, I know that I'm not the only one who has been stoned and up till' 3AM, watching "THE INFOMERCIALS". Well here is a stoner tribute to the infomercial !​

ever notice how the only thing on tv between 2-5am is "paid programming"....here's my tribute to infomercials.
With 4 easy payments ​

of 9.99​

you get a deluxe pairing knife​

and a corkscrew for your wine

supplies are low

so you better act fast

cause a deal this great
will never last
buy this food dehydrator
get a cheese grater for free
learn from the old bald guy
how to operate your PC
everything's a "system"
hurry dont act late
cause if you cant get it at the store
it must be really great
make yourself a million bucks
but give us a hundred first
buy this nifty sausage grinder
make turkey liverwurst
lose 30 pounds in just one week
get rid of all that fat
and by the way we also sell
and electronic litterbox for your cat
no need to worry about losing your hair
replacing it's not that hard
just call the number at the bottom of the screen
and use your credit card
cut some drywall at twice the speed
send some money to children in need
watch the girls flash
on burbon street
buy this air-bed
and get a free sheet
all your favorites
on one CD
great to put under
the christmas tree
set it and forget it
just dont burn down your house
and plug in this sonic-wave
and never worry about a mouse​

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i could go on, but why?

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I hope you enjoyed our show this morning....as always, here are some pics to give you a little chuckle...​

Looking forward to hearing from you all !!!​

Peace, Love and Tie Dye,
Cam​

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[octobong007]

cam, i gotta tell ya, me and the wife wake up in the morning and actually LOOK FORWARD to reading your "wake and bake show". just wanted to make sure you knew that, definately brings laughter at the beginning of the day. wish ya were my neighbor!!!!! smoker is as smoker does...quote from forrest hump. laterz bro...and again, thanx.

 

[Cam]

cam, i gotta tell ya, me and the wife wake up in the morning and actually LOOK FORWARD to reading your "wake and bake show". just wanted to make sure you knew that, definately brings laughter at the beginning of the day. wish ya were my neighbor!!!!! smoker is as smoker does...quote from forrest hump. laterz bro...and again, thanx.

Much Thanks "Octo-Son"......The Cannabis Kid..Quote......LOL​

Thank You,
it really makes my day and makes it all the more worth while when I hear stuff like that from our readers. Don't get me wrong, I love writing this...well...just because. Knowing that y'all really ebjoy it that much really does my heart good. Here are a couple more pics for you laughter !!​

 

[DLtoker]

Hahah. Cam, I love it!!!

 

[Cam]

Hahah. Cam, I love it!!!

Thanks my friend. Always glad to make people laugh:rofl: . Your props are greatly appreciated:48: .​

Some more HUMOR anyone?:clap: ​

Peace, Love and Tie Dye,
Cam​

 

[gmo]

Thanks Cam. Loved the picture of "Stoner Lisa" lol. Hope ya all have a good day.

 

[Cam]

Thanks Cam. Loved the picture of "Stoner Lisa" lol. Hope ya all have a good day.

Thanks as always "G".:cool2: I just wanted to let you, Octobong007, Dubbaman, Lyfr, DLToker and everyone else who has written in know how much I appreciate :heart: the fact that you not only read my column, and thank me for bringing a smile to your day.:rofl: ..but you ALWAYS WRITE IN.....whether it is a comment on the whole column, a specific days' show, or just to say HI (HIGH...LOL). :welcome: I SOOOO APPRECIATE YOUR CONSISTANT INTERACTION :bong1: WITH THIS COLUMN. :48: THE MORE INTERACTION AND PARTICIPATION FROM OTHERS CAN ONLY MAKE OUR SHOW BETTER.eace: :clap: :giggle: :woohoo:

Peace, Love and Tie Dye,
Cam

 

[gmo]

No problem Cam! I'm gonna dig around to find some submissions for the WnB, I'll shoot you a private message if I find anything. Hope you have a good day, and as always........ :48:

 

[Cam]

Welcome to The Morning Wake N' Bake @ MP for Thursday November 15th 2007

A apecial thanks is in order today, GMO is now a co-writer of "The WnB", please give him a toke of applause for his help, humor and efforts:yay:

This is why a stoner should nover go shopping alone :shocked: ​

A stoner walks into an appliance store and asks the owner, "How much for that TV set in the window?"

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The owner looks at the TV set, then looks at the stoner, and says, "I don't sell stuff to potheads." So the stoner tells the owner that he'll quit toking and will come back the next week to buy the TV. A week later, the stoner comes back and says, "I quit smoking pot. Now, how much for that TV set in the window?"

And the owner says, "I told you I don't sell to potheads!" So the stoner leaves again.

He comes back a week later and says, "How much for that TV?"
The owner says, "I'm not going to tell you again, I don't sell to potheads!!!"
The stoner looks back at the owner and says, "How can you tell I'm a pothead?"
The owner looks back and says, "Because that's a microwave." :holysheep:​

​

A Few funny quotes​

Q.Stoners definition of desperate?

A.Resin.​

Two stoners are getting high at a party. "I think you had enough," one says to the other. "Your face is getting blurry!" ​

A stoner and drunk were walking down a hill. The drunk said, "I think I'm gonna pretend I'm a bottle and just roll down the hill so he did it the stoner thought for a minute then rolled down the hill when he got to the bottom he seen the drunk was in pieces on the ground so he walked over to him the drunk looks up and says how did you make it without getting hurt the stoner said I pretended I was a joint! :rofl:

Q: What do you call it when a roach ash burns your shirt? ​

A: A pot hole! ​

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