The Original Old Farts Club

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I love a good ripe cheese, but ripe fish--no thanks.

Just remembered anchovies and Asian fish sauce. I spoke too soon.
The VC had something they called nuoc mam. They put it on everything... sorta like we would use butter or ketchup. Stinky (actually fish rotted in a jar with garlic) sauce.

Was not a good field ration. You could smell them from really far away.
 
The VC had something they called nuoc mam. They put it on everything... sorta like we would use butter or ketchup. Stinky (actually fish rotted in a jar with garlic) sauce.

Was not a good field ration. You could smell them from really far away.
More than one vet told me they smelled them before they saw them. In PBS documentary, they said the same about GI cigarettes.

Bubba
 
The VC had something they called nuoc mam. They put it on everything... sorta like we would use butter or ketchup. Stinky (actually fish rotted in a jar with garlic) sauce.

Was not a good field ration. You could smell them from really far away.
An old buddy of mine that did three hitches said they called it armpit sauce. He saw/smelled it being made in a village they went into. Claimed they took a flat board that had grooves cut into it, connected by a groove at the bottom that had an exit grove in the center of it. They'd set it on a stump, lay a layer of fish on it, then salt, then a cross layer of fish, then salt, etc. They'd prop a rock under the non connected end and put a jug on the ground so that the oily stuff would drip into it. Claimed it tasted a lot better than it smelled, and he and his team would often eat it before going deep.
 
I hadda go out to get a VCR tape converted to a Master Disc and 3 CD's. <-- Back in 1991, my two sons, my two best friends, and Herself and I went to Bonaire. Possibly the best vacation ever taken there by anybody. Everything went perfectly.

What makes this discovered old tape precious is that (I believe) it holds the actual record of my best friend's wife's transition to... unbelievable wonders.

Fleek (her nick) was terrified of water. Could not swim. Could not put her face in the water. Sooo... I sat her down on the snowy sand in 2 feet of warm crystal water. The sand was a sort of path between coral that came right to the surface. So as she was sitting there, she was like a giant woman in the Grand Canyon.

I put a SCUBA rig on her, and a mask with her prescription in the lens. I had her breathe for several minutes with the regulator in her mouth as she sat there. At my suggestion, she was able to put her face in the water because she could still breathe, and she could SEE underwater.

OK. Here's when I got stone lucky: After five seconds of her looking at the sand by her feet in that shallow water, an absolutely gorgeous sea-hare came slowly looping by right in front of her. A less threatening creature would be hard to imagine. They are precious.
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She was entranced. Then she saw the corals were really alive, and waving little flowery frills.
LATER THAT DAY I TOOK A FILM OF FLEEK SWIMMING HAPPILY UNDER THE KEEL OF A SUNKEN SHIP AT 120' UNDER WATER!!!!
 
Howdy all. Been on the move today. Walks in, garden (in and out) happy. Now I have to go and buy a sport coat. Can't believe it....I haven't had a suit, tie....anything except jeans and sweats on for over a decade now. But, the dealership is going into the Colorado Auto Dealers Hall of fame. I have to go and dress up for the thing. All my suits are gone, don't fit or dust covered.

Putting me in a suit now is like putting an elevator into an outhouse. So, sports coat and dockers with no tie is all they are gonna get out of me. Will be kind of good to see some of the Car Dealers that are still there. I used to know them all....if you passed a car dealership in the city I knew the owner. Now, I am just a fart in the wind. Fine my me. Got to be a fargin rat race. Internet ruined the way we did business. No real salesmen left.....just computer marketing idiots that couldn't close a door let alone a car deal.
 
Got mom and two babies out back munching corn. Had a baby the night before within ten feet of the back porch.
Price of corn has gone way up. Don't care if'n I gotta eat oatmeal for the rest of time, 'cause I'm gonna feed 'em regardless. They sure do bring the Old Hen and me a lot of pleasure just looking at them.
 
Got mom and two babies out back munching corn. Had a baby the night before within ten feet of the back porch.
Price of corn has gone way up. Don't care if'n I gotta eat oatmeal for the rest of time, 'cause I'm gonna feed 'em regardless. They sure do bring the Old Hen and me a lot of pleasure just looking at them.
"Mom and two baby" whats? <-- Your note caught my eye and made me smile... even though I have no idea what kinda creatchy-poos you are coddling.

The Sneakydicker Chateau is the epicenter of wildie animobile hangouts around here. Every day for the last 15+ years, the resident peacocks show up in both front and back yards, waiting for their black oil seeds and dry cat food !! They leave their feathers here each year. I've got several hundred in vases all over the place. I give them to workmen I hire when I find out they have kids or cats. <-- Cats go nuts over peacock feathers.

The curly tails resident in my totally bug-free garage come excitedly scridgeling up to whoever walks into the garage. I feed them cooked chickum mostly. They get confused when I am holding the little piece of chicken down by the floor, and usually bite my fingers first. (They are pinker than cooked chickum.) Their bite is almost unnoticeable, it is so weak.

They get so excited at dinnertime that whoever is in the garage has to walk carefully, becuz the too-friendly little bastages can easily get stepped on and squished when they run right up to where you are walking.

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And the bunny rabbits (2) show up every morning for the seeds. And possums and the Absolute Unit racketycoon show up in the evening for yummies.

Back to the peacocks... They like to hang out in my garage when it is raining. They feel quite comfortable around my Beautiful Scottish Witch and Himself. In fact, one time I walked into the house to get sumpin', and absently left the door from garage to house open. Fargin giant birdie followed me in without me noticing until I got to the fargin kitchen!!
 
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"Mom and two baby" whats? <-- Your note caught my eye and made me smile... even though I have no idea what kinda creatchy-poos you are coddling.

The Sneakydicker Chateau is the epicenter of wildie animobile hangouts around here. Every day for the last 15+ years, the resident peacocks show up in both front and back yards, waiting for their black oil seeds and dry cat food !! They leave their feathers here each year. I've got several hundred in vases all over the place. I give them to workmen I hire when I find out they have kids or cats. <-- Cats go nuts over peacock feathers.

The curly tails resident in my totally bug-free garage come excitedly scridgeling up to whoever walks into the garage. I feed them cooked chickum mostly. They get confused when I am holding the little piece of chicken down by the floor, and usually bite my fingers first. (They are pinker than cooked chickum.) Their bite is almost unnoticeable, it is so weak.

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And the bunny rabbits (2) show up every morning for the seeds.
Any Iguanas , they seem to have taken over Fl .
 
Any Iguanas , they seem to have taken over Fl .
Awright, Iguana tell you a story. I had watched a few of those films where Floriduh iguana hunter-removers go around with airguns dispatching the prehistoric bastages... I noticed that at a certain size, they declare the dead lizard as being "eatin' size".

Well, as I type this, I could lay a hunnert dollar bill on the desktop as a bet: I can go out right now, and walk 300 feet. And I will see at least one, mebbe up to five iguanas strung out along the canal bank. No iguanas, I lose the bet. <-- Don't take me up on it. 🙃 ;)

They are friggin' everywhere. Their only natural enemies might be gators and ospreys.

So one of them had the friggin' temerity to wander down the fargin road, and come swaggering across MY front yard. I grabbed the nearest pistol, and shot the sumbitch in the head. He wuz eatin' size.

I decided to try some.

HAH. The hide on an iguana is very thick, tough, and supple. My sooper filleting knife would not cut it. I had to use tin snips to get a hole started. <-- TINS!

Took me 40 minutes to get one hind leg cleaned. I figgered that was enough, since I could probably get about fifty pounds of iguanas if I walked to the canal with my pistol.

Fried it up.

God. What a disgusting, wretched, tough, miserable piece of yuckmeat. I'd rather eat kimchi that had gone once through a camel. I can see why they are proliferating -- if the icky bastages tasted like KFC, they'd be fargin extinct.

But they taste like burned popcorn mixed with dirty sneakers pulled from the belly of a putrefying anteater. 🤮
 

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